You Haven't Seen the Last of Me- Cher

Never count me down and out because you haven't seen the last of me.

All You'll Ever Be is Mean

"Some day I'll be living in a big old city and all you'll ever be is mean." ~Taylor Swift

There really comes a day when you look at some people in your life and all you see is a spirit that you don't quite understand how you were ever their friend. You look at them in the eye and you see something you never really thought possible. But then you realize, you're better than that. You're better than being treated like that. You see people around you fall for those eyes. They just don't see it.

You can't make them see it. You can't make them see the depths of the devil swirling in those irises. Oh, but you know and you can pick yourself up from them, blink and go your own route. You know you'll be happy on your own. You know they won't mean a thing and that, as my mother loves to say, they will get their due.

And they will. I do partly believe in some odd sense of karma. No one is perfect, but those of us with a mean streak lying in our veins stoop to a new level. Sadly, yea you have to watch them go down and you have to watch those dumb enough to fall for those eyes fall down with them. I refuse to be part of it.

I refuse to fall for those eyes and that evil because my life is leading me elsewhere. My God has aided me in seeing the truth of people, that spirit lying beneath the surface, seeing beyond those eyes. Maybe I didn't find out early enough. Maybe I couldn't save some of those that fell for those eyes. But I saved myself and I saved those that will listen and will see it too.

"Some day I'll be big enough so you can't hit me and all you'll ever be is mean."

Bite

He looks at me with those eyes,
steel gray, cold, sending a shiver
up my spine. It is winter.

He stalks me, treading carefully
around my circle, tracing
the line of salt on the floor.

He growls, baring pearl
white teeth, fangs digging
into his lip, claws born.

He leaps for me,
the daggers dig into my neck
breathe is lost.

He leaves me laying
red droplets dripping
from my pale flesh.

Boiling

It starts with the pot of water
sitting so dormant and quiet
on the stove. The heat
begins to build under it,
the stress of the pot
against the grills.

Then it begins to bubble,
tiny little droplets
then large splatters.
The pot is angry
as it pops and crackles.

It splashes out of the pot,
its wave of rage fighting
back, droplets of boiling
H2O landing on your hand.
You know why it pops.

You try and turn off the heat,
take it off the grills, but still
it pops with anger.
You cannot stop it now
it has already begun.

No Easy Button

There is no easy button
like the Staples' commercial.
You can't just push the plastic
and solve world peace
or win the lottery
or find you your soulmate.

It's just not that simple
to feed the world's people
or stitch together a broken heart.
Instead of looking
for the easy button,
try getting off your butt

and get down to work.
Nothing can change
if you don't make it change.

Tug of War

A middle school playground, fields
stretching far out into the grass
splatter of colorful shirts, mismatched
shorts, the little heads bobbing blonde,
brown and red, playing, tugging

at a rope found lost in the grass' dew
coiled and snaked, a rattlesnake's tough
skin. The rainbow scatters, left and right,
end to end of the rope. Soft hands
grasp the roughened twine, ready, set

go as they pull and tug. Some fall, knees
scrapped, hands rip, squeaky sneakers slip
in the mud they dig. The rope goes left,
the rope goes right, an endless war
as they drop one by one, their guards

down. One side finally breaks, a bob
of blonde has fallen. The right side wins.

Titanium/Pavane- Piano Guys with Tyler Ward

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose.
Fire away, fire away.
You shoot me down, but I won't fall.
I am titanium.

Without You- Piano Guys style

Thank you Wesley first of all for showing me this group. They're called the Piano Guys and are completely amazing. I actually got a good chunk of my office loving them!

Spin Me

Take me by the hand
spin me around
around and around
as the Earth spins
under our feet.

Look into my eyes
sweep me off my feet
dip me low
hold me tight
kiss my lips.

Hold the umbrella
as I step from the car
rest your lips
on my neck
bite me slowly.

Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden

"I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish. I'll be your fantasy. I'll be your hope. I'll be your love. Be everything that you need. I'll love you more with every breath. Truly, madly, deeply do."

In celebration, happiness and love.

Oct. 7, 2012 <3 p="p">

Musical bars for girls behind bars

Now I know this isn't quite my usual poetry. However, many of my friends know and now, my followers, that this past Tuesday I was invited to visit a prison in CT. It is the maximum security women's prison which holds all the women behind bars in the entire state. The experience that I had personally going there was something that I will always remember and affected me a lot. So here is a link to the article that I wrote (published today, Oct. 4 in the Informer). I hope to spread the word and have others understand exactly what kind of eye opening life changing experience occurred that day.

http://hartfordinformer.com/2012/10/entertainment/musical-bars-for-girls-behind-bars/

This is what happens after a 15 hour work day in the office

This becomes incredibly amusing to a point where I am crying laughing.

Peace

Apostles creed, Our Father, Hail Marys and Glory Be.
There is just something about the calm flooding my system when i feel the beads run through my fingers, counting.
I used to feel it before.
Now I am coming home.
Back to the peace, the love, the calm that He brings me.
For once everything is settled.
Everything is good.
Everything is taken care of.
I have lifted my prayers up high for Him to see so He can lead me, his sheep, Him my Shepard.
I have given up the control and the manipulation and the pressures that society has forced,
that have weakened my body and mind and soul.
For now with Him, I rebuild and I grow in His love.
Forever shall be world without end, Amen.

It only took a strand of rosary beads

Tonight, I was thumbing through my desk drawer looking for something. In the drawer, I found a strand of rosary beads, bright blue and shining. Picking them up, I was flooded with a sense of calm. I made these beads with Sam when we were maybe middle schoolers (possibly younger.) I remember sitting in my den with Sam bending the little pieces of metal and slipping on the beads one afternoon.

And tonight, I found myself in prayer again. For a couple of years now, I have struggled with a battle with my faith. I have not known where I stood. After a very tough summer, I hadn't yet found the calm in prayer because I needed to come upon my faith myself. Tonight, I have. And all I can do is smile and know that He loves me and is watching over me and helping me through the obstacles of life. I have found my peace and faith again and it only took picking up those rosary beads and feeling the faith radiating from them. Thank you all that have helped guide my way.

Who needs men when you have chocolate?

Who needs men when you have chocolate
to munch on and let dissolve in your mouth
as the wave of happiness flows over you.

Who needs men when you have dance
to drown your body in, to move
with the sweet beat and let the lyrics sink in.

Who needs men when you have shopping
to spend a few dollars, swipe some plastic
and slip into something sexy and hot.

Who needs men when you have parties
to flirt in, seduce and not get in trouble
for being with the wrong people.

Who needs men when you have freedom
to wear what you'd like, when you'd like
and not worry about who to impress.

Ok so maybe sometimes you need men
to flirt with and draw attention, to play
with and go along with their game.

Sometimes you need men to cuddle
and kiss, to have a warm body next
to you in bed, maybe sometimes

you need men.

Ode to a Sweater

(Ok it's a Monday and it's time for some fun. And it's the first day of October, this poem is appropriate for fall.)

Big comfy sweater, so green and warm
swirling down my arms, showing off
my collarbone, how perfect you are.

You make me want to frolic
in the leaves, jumping from pile
to pile under the fall sky.

At night, I do not lose you.
Instead I curl up with only you
because you are all I need in this chill.

Big comfy sweater, the color of ocean foam,
don't ever get eaten by the dryer
or lost by the washer. Because I love you
big comfy sweater, so green and warm.

Curls

There is a saying that girls with straight hair
want curly hair and girls with curly hair
want straight hair. And for some reason,
I've always wondered about this need
to change oneself. It's not like it's harm
free. Flat irons and curlers fry your hair.
Although I cannot say I am without guilt,
for some times, I just cannot deal with my curls
but I have learned slowly to love them.

They are playful and flirty, framing my face.
They add to the mischievous glint in my eyes.
I was recently asked if my hair was dyed
because of the copper strands running
through my curls. I proudly answered no
and that I would never because I refuse
to change. If I wish to alter my appearance
I do it for myself. If I want my hair straight
that day, it will be because I wanted it so,
not because someone told me to.

If I wish to wear makeup that day,
it is because I want to, not because I was told
to. So, if I want to leave my curls wild
today, I will because I want them to be free.