Dear Stars

Hello stars, so far off in the distance,
sparkling so quietly in the sky while I sit
in this dew sprinkled grass. You watch
me, dear stars. I know you do as I contemplate
life down on the ground. I can feel the rocks
in my back, the ant mounds under my feet.

The clouds are beginning to block you, dear
stars. They rumble over your twinkle,
hiding you safely from the world. It's a good
thing, as you need to rest for a spell.
My curls spread out into the green blades,
wild and free, much like you, dear stars.

Dear stars, are you guarded by the moon?
Does the moonlight cascade over your light?
You must sparkle brighter when the moon
is behind the clouds and you are not.
But the full moon must hurt your eyes,
it lights up so, so bad for you, my star friends.

Take me with you, my dear stars.
Lift me from this dirt and into the sky, to fly
and blink with the light of a million years.
We can battle the moon together, circle
the planets, cheer on our shooting cousins.
Just you and I, my dear stars.

You had me at hello

All you need is love.

You had me at hello,
the second you ordered
the same chicken wrap,
your smile, the teasing
me that I enjoy killing
my Sims 3 through death
by pool. Both seniors,
knowing the nostalgia
and the stress, both hired
after we get that slip
of paper. Now, I just want
to cuddle with you, watch
Castle, Big Bang Theory,
Firefly. Play Skyrim,
the Sims, and all the games.

I want you to teach
me how to play pool
as you explain the physics
of the game to me.
Somehow, we got past
your love of Apple
and my chick flicks.
I don't mind having you
tap on my backpack
when you see me stroll
by, just for a hug because
you had me at hello.

Snakebite

Running through a maze,
purple walls, pink walls,
gray, black, concrete, dirt
underfoot. Miles in the sky,
hands outstretched, searching
for a door. A button,
a silent elevator. Chasing
down the black, an opening.

Giant swing, gears creaking,
back and forth, away and toward.
A hiss snaking up from the ground,
the sound of a sweet rattle shaking.
Slithering on the ground,
a chain of red. Hands grasp
wooden pole. Shaking, slicing
off the rattle. Giant leap,
swinging across. Solid.

Running, always running,
Another button,
silent elevator. Angry.
Pounding it into the wall,
the creak of another swing.
To the edge of solid floor,
toes barely safe, a purple chain
below, hissing, hissing.
Pole still in hand, trying to smash.
No luck.

Fall.

Black Rimmed

I used to look at the world through bare eyes,
naive like a child's teddy bear, naked and vulnerable,
an egg sitting unprotected on the edge of a cliff.
And that was ok, when I had you protecting me.
I could cower in the shadows, daily a masquerade.
But now, I have risen from the darkness.

I grew rims the color of midnight around my eyes,
saw the world for what it truly was, an eagle born
from the abandoned nest. I shook off the broken
shells and took flight. Now when you see me,
you run away, but I will not run from you,
I take flights, spreading magnificent wings.

I fly with a straight back, an air of predator,
but talons with the gentle nature of holding
the child's teddy bear. I have grown into myself,
stretched my neck, standing tall. Protector fled,
I am no longer a fragile egg sitting in the nest,
so look into these black rimmed eyes and weep.

Looking Back

Just this afternoon, I received an email from something called 10Q. Now, 10Q was a set of 10 questions I filled out over 10 days this time last year. It had everything from what I was in the past, to the present to what I was looking forward to in the future. And damn, have I changed.

The last few questions asked me about my passions, a person that I wanted to investigate more, how I would feel when I opened the questions again a year later, and my predictions for 2012. So many of those questions revolved around my now ex boyfriend. I had written about my desires to make him happy and to remind myself how awesome he was everyday. Needless to say, nothing's the same.

Life changes in ways you would never expect. Nothing you ever think is going to come true, comes true. Life just picks you up and drags you where it wishes. Now, this is not to say I'm unhappy with where I am now. Actually, it's quite the opposite. But it's like going back on Facebook to your old pictures from high school. They're memories, but memories that will not come around again. You have a touch of nostalgia and for what where there, but you realize and know the truth of the matter.

With the 2012 10Q coming up again in a few days, I'm going to be sure to answer them because quite honestly, I smile when I see how far I've come and what I've been able to accomplish.

The True Writer's Block

12 hours to figure out what I want to write a play about. Can't think of anything. Uh oh.

One More Night- Maroon 5

It's a long night in the office so music is the only savior. :) This song just makes me want to dance and smile.

Out of the Comfort

Senior year college. Those three words are more terrifying than anything I've ever heard. Well, terrifying and extremely exciting. As a senior, it's time to make my last mark on the university. In result, I've gotten out of my apartment and into the world just that much more. Besides being Managing Editor of the paper, I have also decided to pledge APO (a co-ed service frat) and have met some of the best people. I've met new friends and it's only the first week.

As a person that comes off as outgoing and sometimes intimidating, it can be tough for me. Sometimes, I just want to be by myself. However, stepping out of this comfort zone has been the best thing for me. I've started working out and running and now have an exercise group of fellow students that go on runs, play Wii Fit and just generally love bettering ourselves.

If I had stayed in my little comfort bubble, I would be miserable. Schoolwork just isn't enough in life. I learned last year about balance. I found that although I had the newspaper, school and a relationship, things were out of sync. So instead, I found my frat, found exercise and kept the whole work and school and newspaper part. It has been the best decision of my life.

I can say I am happy. I walk with a little pep in my step. I know that I will leave this university in the spring with a job (I'm already hired. WOOT less senior stress!) and having had a great time.

Revolution- Beatles

I don't know what it is about the Beatles lately. Between the Beatles and Fun, I've had the best constant playlist I've had in awhile. It's just got everything I need in it. This song in particular is just BAM I'm rocking this.

Elephant in the Room

There's an elephant sitting on my head,

pushing down with his ivory trunk into 

my heart, his big feet pouncing on my lungs.

I always thought too much and I guess

the elephant knew that so he tried to

squish it all in by sitting on me. 

A circus trick you know, supposed 

to be good for me. Nah, instead

it just squeezed the air out of me.

My heart began pumping for all

its might, fighting the elephant

in the room. No good.

My mind still wants to explode,

a bomb set off in Afghanistan. 

All I know is that I need air.

I can try to breathe, inhale

through my nose, exhale

through my nose, but no good.

Mr. Elephant wants to keep sitting.

He doesn't ask me. He doesn't approach.

Rather, he whispers in the darkness.

But I can't hear him, only the others.

He doesn't dare tell me to my face.

Rather, he is a cowardly elephant.

I don't like elephants that much.

The peanut shells get everywhere.

The tricks are so cliche.

I've seen it all, in circus after circus.

Everyone thinks they have something special.

But I never liked elephants that much.