Sunday, September 30, 2012
If I Fell
If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true? I have been in love before and found that love was more than holding hands. If I give my heart to you, I must be sure in the very start that you would love me more than her.
Labyrinth of Life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free. Blackbird fly into the light of the dark black night.
Twisting and turning, caught by every thorny corner,
Left, right turns into right, left, a lone branch
scratches and attacks my lovely green sweater,
a tear down my cheek, it is impossible.
I see you in the sky dear Blackbird,
finding the light that I so dearly miss,
I envy you with the deepest part of my soul,
as you hit the stream of air and disappear.
They wanted a revolution before they caught
me and threw me into this garden of destruction.
I gave them what they wanted and now I'm only alone,
done for and scarred with the black patches of fire.
Tiny dove, little spot of white, what do you have in your beak?
What do you carry so gallantly as you surf through the sky?
Is that an olive branch I see? Do you mean to sing a song
of peace? For that's all I wish sometimes. Forgiveness.
Twisting and turning, caught by every thorny corner,
Left, right turns into right, left, a lone branch
scratches and attacks my lovely green sweater,
a tear down my cheek, it is impossible.
I see you in the sky dear Blackbird,
finding the light that I so dearly miss,
I envy you with the deepest part of my soul,
as you hit the stream of air and disappear.
They wanted a revolution before they caught
me and threw me into this garden of destruction.
I gave them what they wanted and now I'm only alone,
done for and scarred with the black patches of fire.
Tiny dove, little spot of white, what do you have in your beak?
What do you carry so gallantly as you surf through the sky?
Is that an olive branch I see? Do you mean to sing a song
of peace? For that's all I wish sometimes. Forgiveness.
Friday, September 28, 2012
It would've been a year
It would've been a year today. It would have been a year of smiling and laughing and goofing around with plenty of love and affection. But no, life goes on and things change. I push it down. I shove it to the back of my mind, but it's still hard. It probably will always be hard. You can't fall the way I had and just get over it in a couple of months. No, it would've been a year today.
It's crazy to think how things changed. I find myself just wanting to share moments again. I remember the little moments when we used to go to farmers markets and when he taught me how to drive. It's the little moments, like cooking a steak on the stove and wishing we had a grill. It never mattered really how the food came out, it was always delicious. It was the driving along, hand in hand, window open and hair flying everywhere. It was him wrapping a blanket around me on a long drive home because he knew I needed some sleep. I miss the little moments. I miss helping him pick out outfits or sharing a bag of chips, getting crumbs all over the bed.
But sadly, what I'm learning, is that you can't have everything. People change, situations change, everything does. It's like New England weather, changing all the time. I try to roll with the punches. I'm slowly moving on and changing myself. But none of it means it doesn't hurt. None of it means I don't miss him. One time, around November, we looked at each other and set a date in my phone for our one year anniversary. That date was going to be the happiest day of our lives.
I try and be strong. I do. I put on a strong face and push it all behind me. But today, I'm weak. Because it would've been a year today.
It's crazy to think how things changed. I find myself just wanting to share moments again. I remember the little moments when we used to go to farmers markets and when he taught me how to drive. It's the little moments, like cooking a steak on the stove and wishing we had a grill. It never mattered really how the food came out, it was always delicious. It was the driving along, hand in hand, window open and hair flying everywhere. It was him wrapping a blanket around me on a long drive home because he knew I needed some sleep. I miss the little moments. I miss helping him pick out outfits or sharing a bag of chips, getting crumbs all over the bed.
But sadly, what I'm learning, is that you can't have everything. People change, situations change, everything does. It's like New England weather, changing all the time. I try to roll with the punches. I'm slowly moving on and changing myself. But none of it means it doesn't hurt. None of it means I don't miss him. One time, around November, we looked at each other and set a date in my phone for our one year anniversary. That date was going to be the happiest day of our lives.
I try and be strong. I do. I put on a strong face and push it all behind me. But today, I'm weak. Because it would've been a year today.
Refuse
Dear body,
I refuse to get sick. I need to write a 10 page play, submit my Aerie poems and I have too much planned this weekend. I refuse to miss the autism walk or my date or riding Missy or the brother meeting. So body, bye bye blahness. I refuse.
Sincerely,
a disgruntled poet who cannot afford this right now
I refuse to get sick. I need to write a 10 page play, submit my Aerie poems and I have too much planned this weekend. I refuse to miss the autism walk or my date or riding Missy or the brother meeting. So body, bye bye blahness. I refuse.
Sincerely,
a disgruntled poet who cannot afford this right now
Rain rain go away
Rain rain go away.
All I wanna do is curl up in my blanket
and sleep until forever.
Make some hot choco
and sleep until forever.
Rain rain no one wants you here.
You make us sleepy and blah
and cast a gloom over our eyes.
So rain rain, dear rain
go away and let me sleep forever.
All I wanna do is curl up in my blanket
and sleep until forever.
Make some hot choco
and sleep until forever.
Rain rain no one wants you here.
You make us sleepy and blah
and cast a gloom over our eyes.
So rain rain, dear rain
go away and let me sleep forever.
Friday- Rebecca Black
Ok ok so some of you guys may murder me for posting this. BUT come on, it's Friday and it's raining and we could all use a laugh.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
We Rise
Such a time comes in a young person's life
when suddenly the gray sky isn't important,
the sun may hide behind the clouds
or the humidity may fill the air, cause
you to swim through it. Rather, it is once
night falls that the tepid wind crawls
over the skin, prickles the hair on your arm.
You walk with your head high above your shoulders,
with the grace of a black crane, knowing
you are you, that every scar scattered into your skin
is only that, a mark. Those marks do not define you.
You choose to walk with your tail tucked,
head down, back slouched. But there are some of us
who do not settle or bow our heads in shame.
We stand tall, backs straight, a perfect balance.
We have been through more than our lives should,
but it is a higher power that knows we can do it.
We do not accept arrogance or naivety, we rise
above. Always pushing, always trying and always
standing together as one.
when suddenly the gray sky isn't important,
the sun may hide behind the clouds
or the humidity may fill the air, cause
you to swim through it. Rather, it is once
night falls that the tepid wind crawls
over the skin, prickles the hair on your arm.
You walk with your head high above your shoulders,
with the grace of a black crane, knowing
you are you, that every scar scattered into your skin
is only that, a mark. Those marks do not define you.
You choose to walk with your tail tucked,
head down, back slouched. But there are some of us
who do not settle or bow our heads in shame.
We stand tall, backs straight, a perfect balance.
We have been through more than our lives should,
but it is a higher power that knows we can do it.
We do not accept arrogance or naivety, we rise
above. Always pushing, always trying and always
standing together as one.
I've Just Seen a Face- Jim Sturgess
Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
But I'd have never been aware
But as it is I'll dream of her tonight
Falling, yes I am falling
And she keeps calling me back again
I have never known the like of this
I've been alone and I have
Missed things and kept out of sight
For other girls we're never quite like this.
Falling, yes I am falling
And she keeps calling me back again.
I might have looked the other way
But I'd have never been aware
But as it is I'll dream of her tonight
Falling, yes I am falling
And she keeps calling me back again
I have never known the like of this
I've been alone and I have
Missed things and kept out of sight
For other girls we're never quite like this.
Falling, yes I am falling
And she keeps calling me back again.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
My Extended Family
College is a home away from home, a place wrapped up in fun and work and fellowship. Friends make all the difference in one's life and when you have an extended family of them, it's even better. Some approach college as a way to simply get a degree or as one big party. The truth of the matter is that college has to be a mix.
College, with all of its ups and downs, hardships and fun, is a tough time and having an extended family makes a big difference in how your experience is going to go. I started out college ready to have a balance of friends and work, but I didn't know the meaning of an extended family.
Over my time at college, my closest friends have become my extended family (you know who you are. :) and trust me, I know because I know you read this blog.) However, it took me until this year to find the rest of my family. Now, dear follower, you may be very confused at this post and I feel I am rambling a bit. But here's the blunt out truth, I am as of this past Sunday, an official pledge for Alpha Phi Omega. I could not be happier.
APO is not directly attached to Greek Life so don't start going around "AHHH she joined a sorority!" APO is so different. Not only are we co-ed and have less dues, but we're really focused on community service and family.
Now the definition of family in this instance isn't just the metaphorical type. For those of you who don't know how APO runs, we are like a typical frat in the sense of bigs and littles, grandbigs and grandlittles included. So really when we say we're a big family, we are.
I love my Big. I may have only known him about 2 weeks now (ish) but we click and it's a good Big/Little combo. But my family isn't just him. My grandbig was just as excited to have me as a grandlittle as my Big was to have me as a Little. The whole frat is intertwined. (We figured out today I'm one girl's great great grandniece.)
We operate like a family, like a group. We all have our differences, but I know as I step out of my room in the morning with my pledge pin on exactly what I represent. I'm proud to say I'm an APO pledge and eventual Brother.
I found what was missing in my college experience and I'm so happy to have found it right before it was too late. <3 p="p">
College, with all of its ups and downs, hardships and fun, is a tough time and having an extended family makes a big difference in how your experience is going to go. I started out college ready to have a balance of friends and work, but I didn't know the meaning of an extended family.
Over my time at college, my closest friends have become my extended family (you know who you are. :) and trust me, I know because I know you read this blog.) However, it took me until this year to find the rest of my family. Now, dear follower, you may be very confused at this post and I feel I am rambling a bit. But here's the blunt out truth, I am as of this past Sunday, an official pledge for Alpha Phi Omega. I could not be happier.
APO is not directly attached to Greek Life so don't start going around "AHHH she joined a sorority!" APO is so different. Not only are we co-ed and have less dues, but we're really focused on community service and family.
Now the definition of family in this instance isn't just the metaphorical type. For those of you who don't know how APO runs, we are like a typical frat in the sense of bigs and littles, grandbigs and grandlittles included. So really when we say we're a big family, we are.
I love my Big. I may have only known him about 2 weeks now (ish) but we click and it's a good Big/Little combo. But my family isn't just him. My grandbig was just as excited to have me as a grandlittle as my Big was to have me as a Little. The whole frat is intertwined. (We figured out today I'm one girl's great great grandniece.)
We operate like a family, like a group. We all have our differences, but I know as I step out of my room in the morning with my pledge pin on exactly what I represent. I'm proud to say I'm an APO pledge and eventual Brother.
I found what was missing in my college experience and I'm so happy to have found it right before it was too late. <3 p="p">
Monday, September 24, 2012
Can't Stop Me Now by Afrojack and Shermanology
After a long Monday, seriously all I need is some good music. This week has already proven to be an insane one and I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into.
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