Maybe by Steven Mertz

If you could only see
how much you mean to me,
maybe things would be different,
maybe I’d be a better person.
But for now I’m not me,
I’m not the way I used to be.
If you could see inside me,
then maybe you’d understand
my heart is full of scars
from betrayals uncountable
from pain unbearable.
You might have been the one
to heal my pain,
to erase my scars.
But you’re not here,
when I need you the most.
So now I’m full of longing,
full of hatred for things that never were,
for things that will never be.
I say fuck it all now,
just end my life,
because I feel all alone
sinking deeper into my obsessions,
they drag me down,
spiraling into a darkness unknown.
I just wish you were near,
to pull me out of this ocean
that's slowly drowning me.
I beg you to save me,
save me from myself
because I can't do it myself.