Letter to an Ex

Dear Ex,

Thank you. And when I say thank you, it's a thank you for breaking up with me. You didn't know that when I told you thank you. But that's what it's for. It's a thank you for teaching me what I didn't want in a relationship. It's a thank you for making me realize just what childish and clingy means. It's a thank you for making me realize that you clouded my judgment. And although I was happy with you at one point in my life, I have realized just how much of a child I was back then. And now, with my big girl job with an editor who already loves me after a week and with the guy I almost didn't see because of you who has every quality I've looked for in my life, I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for getting my life back. You did teach me a lot about self confidence, but when I found out what you said after our relationship to my best friends, yeah, thank you for dumping me. Through that, I saw the true you and I won't miss you. Thought they would never tell me? Yeah, go eat dust. They're my girls. Of course they told me.

But you know, one thing I've learned is that what really doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Because now I watch myself go places. I was on the front page of my very first article for my new job. Does that say something about my success? Yeah it does. Oh what are you doing? Oh yeah, nothing.

Defriend me on Facebook. Do whatever you want. But I don't care a bit. Because I have seen how amazing the world is without you anywhere around. I've stepped into a new, career focused life supported by a man who truly loves me for me, something I doubt you ever did sometimes.

So thank you for dumping me because if we had never ended, I would never have realized just how messed up it was and all the amazing things that I was missing.

Sincerely,
The Girl

Lightning

As the lightning streaks across the sky, I'm reminded of how you've struck my heart with a love louder than any thunder and with the blessings of a thousand raindrops.

Mirrors- Justin Timberlake

"I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along."

Reflections on College

I'm done. I can't believe this day has come. Three years ago, I would never have imagined I would be graduating early and being as successful as I am. It's so weird how fast college has gone by. I have moved out of college for the final time. I have my degree. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the fact that I'm coming out of school with a car, a job, an apartment and an amazing boyfriend. I'm also thankful to all my family and friends and APO who have supported me and encouraged me throughout my life and especially the 3 years I have spent at college. I couldn't have done it without you guys and you are loved.

Freshmen year, I met a group of the most awesome, funny people that have brought me through my college years. They lived on my dorm floor and became my big brother and sister. You two I love dearly and always will. That year I also met the man who would come to be my side, even if we did not fully realize it that year.

Sophomore year was spent with The Informer and learning the ways of being a hard hitting journalist. It helped form me and mature me into a professional, polished person.

Junior/Senior year (they totally were molded together) brought me into the loving arms of APO and doing community service and having a new family. I continued to learn, grow and mature and now, having graduated, this year meant the most to me. By the end, I was in the arms of the man I love being at my side. I managed to snag a job in my career. 

I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life. I'm off to do great things and new doors have opened up for me. I'm ready to see where life will take me.

Explanation of the Girl Codes

I'm sure by now many of you have found your way to my blog to read the Girl Code entries. Unlike anything else on this blog, Girl Code has been a way for me to show more of my sassy, blunt side. The truth is, there's a lot of things that we girls don't talk about or things that we assume are one way, but other girls see as another. These entries have been a way to address many issues.

The other thing is, don't agree? Comment on an entry. I will be more than willing to respond and have a conversation. That's what I'm trying to start with these, a conversation. Because it needs to happen. Have a topic suggestion you'd like me to cover? Let me know! I'd be more than happy to talk about something girls feel need to be addressed.

Girl Code: Needs

Yes we're talking about the kind of needs that mostly everyone (with some exceptions) need in their life; sex. Now to begin with a disclaimer for this blog entry, I'm not saying that everyone has to have sex. But if your boyfriend/girlfriend is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and pulling away because needs aren't being met and you just aren't ready, it's time to have a serious discussion or cut the cord because you may not be compatible.

Sex is normal in nature and in humans. It's not this huge taboo thing like some people make it out to be. It's also not how to run your life. But the thing is, sex is good. And in a relationship, like anything else, sexual chemistry is important. It simply has to be there. That's when it comes to balances. Everything needs to be balanced.

What I'm trying to say is that your sex drive should probably closely match your partner's or at least discuss why it may not be and how things could be worked out for both people. Example: A couple where the girl is a virgin, guy is not. Girl just isn't comfortable with her sexuality at all. She'll flirt and tease, but never actually go with it. Guy, on the other hand, is craving. He's had a friends with benefits in the past. But after months without anything, life is tough. They begin clashing because she doesn't get why he needs it and he feels backed in a corner because although he likes the girl, she just isn't right for him. Sexual chemistry.

Even with some really good relationships, things break down because of a lack of sexual chemistry. It's not even just the chemistry sometimes. Good marriages break down because they stop having sex. It's a time to connect with your partner. If there's issues, the couple needs to talk about it.

Don't repress feelings just because you're scared what the other may say or think. It's important to speak up and say "I'm unhappy because we're not having sex." Discuss why that's occurring and figure out what page both of you are on. Sometimes, an agreement can't be reached and that's when it's time to maybe split and find a way to be satisfied elsewhere. In another relationship with an sexual balance will probably be more fulfilling. Who knows? You just need to talk. Don't make sexual problems more taboo to talk about in our culture than it already is.

Bang Bang by will.i.am

This is when my boyfriend should be happy that I was a competitive ballroom dancer in high school...

Girl Code: Slutty

So girls, why are we so mean? We go around and police bars, picking out all the girls that are "sluts." Ok sure, we can all admit we've probably done it. I know I am not without guilt. But the thing is, why do we think it's any of our business? That girl may have just gone through a wicked break up and wanted some time to have fun and flirt around.

Sluts can own it. Most of the time, they have the most confidence out of anyone in the crowd where they go. They know who they are and what they want and they own it. They rock being a slut. MTV's Girl Code defines a "Triple Threat" slut as being one that's showing cleavage, stomach and leg. But so what? If she wants to dress that way and make out with random guys, who is to say that's a bad thing? She's not harming you. Well, unless she starts going after your boyfriend. Then that's not ok.

But seriously, girls, we need to stop the slut shaming. Work with your friends to stop each other when you find yourself doing it. I know I could use a nudge to be nicer sometimes. We don't like guys calling us sluts so why are we calling each other sluts? Get out of other girls' businesses and live your own life. Don't want to be a slut? Don't.

When Harry Met Sally

Three years ago, 

we were sitting across a conference table,
trading looks, learning journalism 

and I know you wondered
as I did

what we could be like.

Friends, can men and women
be only friends,
was the question of the years
as we struggled
with defining what we were.

When Harry Met Sally,
touch and go, testing the waters,
trying on other people to see
if they would fit,
but they never did.

Sure enough, it's been three years 

and now you're lying next to me,
my head on your chest listening 

to your heart beat
expressing our love
together at last.

Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips

You're my back bone,
You're my cornerstone
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving
You're my head start,
You're my rugged heart
You're the pulse that I've always needed
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.

Nerd Love- revised

We have always been touch and go, leaning
close, lips almost touching, hands and fingers
interlaced yet pulled away, dark eyes seeming
to understand that there is more than just smiles.
We flinch and fiddle, dance around the defining
of the relationship, instead we play
Star Wars and cuddle tight, refining
what we know, cater to each other's needs.
It is a coy night filled with video games,
helping each other with quests of the heart,
battling the Sith lords that are not so lame,
but our limbs never touch, we’re always apart.
But when the monsters are dead, your eyes smile
and as we kiss, it all becomes worthwhile.

May Day

When I was growing up, my mom used to tell me
If it's meant to be, it'll all work out.
I doubted it sometimes, pain hurt too much
when I lost the person I thought would be forever.

But just maybe she was right. Because you and I
have certainly been those "the universe knew
and you two didn't." And that is when, I look up
into the sky and thank the universe for knowing better than I.

It was supposed to be dinner as friends then turned
into ice cream for dinner when I had a tough day.
It was so simple, it had always been easy to laugh with you,
but it was the flirty hug from behind the made my heart skip a beat.

It was the usual lounging in my living room, playing Star Wars,
cuddling on the couch, poking, tickling and finally a kiss
that set things off. And that is when you finally took the plunge
with me. "I L U" turned into "I love you" with you

slipping my Claddagh off my finger and fixing it,
declaring to each other it was time to give this a fair shot
because why not, the universe already knew
and it was time for us to find out.