An icy chill is not unheard of in mid December, especially in the valleys of New England.
It starts with a snowy dusting, falling from the sky in tiny flakes, graceful and delicate.
It plops to the ground as water, but freezes on contact as the thermostat reads 30 degrees.
The sleeting ice blankets the world, creeps into the crevices of cars, holding to the roof.
It is your breath that glistens onto the window, your arms that defrost the wipers,
shake snow from the heavy branches, slide it off the housetops, hold me steady
as I slip and slide as if on ice skates down the driveway, through the frozen grass.
Your kiss that fogs the wet underneath the ice, making it all disappear, returning warmth.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Monday, December 2, 2013
Sea blue
Aqua marina, they told me, water of the sea.
In that tiny specimen of shining stone contained
my smile when we strolled the aquarium,
made friends with the turtle, played with the seals.
Aquamarine, it brought back the look of love
I gave you as you shot pictures,
the kiss through the glass, the sting ray's skin
as we pet it, the sun on our joined hands.
Sea blue, it washed the calm of a sea
after a storm upon me, much like you remind
me that it will all be ok and that we will get through
things together, the play in your eyes of the ocean waves.
In that tiny specimen of shining stone contained
my smile when we strolled the aquarium,
made friends with the turtle, played with the seals.
Aquamarine, it brought back the look of love
I gave you as you shot pictures,
the kiss through the glass, the sting ray's skin
as we pet it, the sun on our joined hands.
Sea blue, it washed the calm of a sea
after a storm upon me, much like you remind
me that it will all be ok and that we will get through
things together, the play in your eyes of the ocean waves.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Little Details
It's the little details that make me smile.
Like when I know he puts on the shirt I slept in the night before, just to imagine me with him.
When he hides in my nest of blankets, holding my back to his chest.
When he pulls out his camera and catches me looking at him the way I always do.
When he leans the picture I gave him of me looking pretty on his computer desk so he'll see me even when I'm far away.
When he leaves me a tiny video, just to blow a kiss goodnight.
It's the little details that keep sparking our love, day after day, forever.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thursday, September 5, 2013
Update
I'm sorry, followers, that I haven't been able to post too much on here. Work has been keeping me busy along with hanging out with the boy of my dreams.
On the cool flip side of news, I learned how to canoe! My first time ever on an actual boat. That may spark a poem in the next couple of days. There's just something about tying the canoe to the roof of his Silverado and heading to the lake for attempts at flipping the boat and laughing the day away.
I'm just so glad to finally be happy. He makes me smile every day and I love him dearly. I really hope to continue to post some new works soon. Don't worry guys!
On the cool flip side of news, I learned how to canoe! My first time ever on an actual boat. That may spark a poem in the next couple of days. There's just something about tying the canoe to the roof of his Silverado and heading to the lake for attempts at flipping the boat and laughing the day away.
I'm just so glad to finally be happy. He makes me smile every day and I love him dearly. I really hope to continue to post some new works soon. Don't worry guys!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Without
Without him in my bed, I feel vulnerable for nightmares' attack. There is too much room to toss and turn, wiggle and kick. There is no protective arm wrapped around me or chest beating consistently to sooth my soul. I lack the quiet soft kisses on my forehead or him brushing my hair, readying for sleep. I miss our rambling back and forth to silence our minds. But most of all, I just miss our easy sleep, drifting off together until the sun rises again.
Monday, August 26, 2013
How I Knew
Dear Love,
It took me awhile to find you in your truest form. It took me awhile to realize that the man in front of me who was a close friend for so long was actually the one right in front of me the whole time. But now that I've found you, thank you. Thank you for helping me understand what true love is.
True love is wanting to wake up to that person every morning. They're the last one on your mind at night before you drift off to sleep. They're your best friend, your confidante, your partner in crime. They're the one who you show the true you. They're the one who in return, lets loose too and shows the true them. Love in its truest form is raw. It's the basis of who you and that person are. It's not about being fake. It's not about being who you think they want you to be. Nope. It's embracing who both of you are and loving each other. It's about helping each other out, not always being on the receiving end. People too easily nowadays get caught up in their own stress and their own problems, but when you truly love someone, both of your walls are down and you let each other help with the obstacles in life. You understand what your partner needs whether it be a neck massage, a homecooked meal or just some hugs and cuddles.
True love is not being afraid to commit or show your love. It's about being comfortable in your own skin and confident enough of your relationship to not have to hide anything or from anyone. True love is trusting in your other closest friends and family and knowing that if they approve, they know the true you and that person. True love doesn't doubt. It doesn't hesitate. It takes the leap of faith and knows exactly what you need.
Thank you love,
That girl that understands
It took me awhile to find you in your truest form. It took me awhile to realize that the man in front of me who was a close friend for so long was actually the one right in front of me the whole time. But now that I've found you, thank you. Thank you for helping me understand what true love is.
True love is wanting to wake up to that person every morning. They're the last one on your mind at night before you drift off to sleep. They're your best friend, your confidante, your partner in crime. They're the one who you show the true you. They're the one who in return, lets loose too and shows the true them. Love in its truest form is raw. It's the basis of who you and that person are. It's not about being fake. It's not about being who you think they want you to be. Nope. It's embracing who both of you are and loving each other. It's about helping each other out, not always being on the receiving end. People too easily nowadays get caught up in their own stress and their own problems, but when you truly love someone, both of your walls are down and you let each other help with the obstacles in life. You understand what your partner needs whether it be a neck massage, a homecooked meal or just some hugs and cuddles.
True love is not being afraid to commit or show your love. It's about being comfortable in your own skin and confident enough of your relationship to not have to hide anything or from anyone. True love is trusting in your other closest friends and family and knowing that if they approve, they know the true you and that person. True love doesn't doubt. It doesn't hesitate. It takes the leap of faith and knows exactly what you need.
Thank you love,
That girl that understands
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Time
When we think about time, we think of hours we have left of work
or days until something special or when we need to be somewhere.
We obsess over how the traffic is going to make us late or missing
an appointment that was directly at 8 a.m. and can't be rescheduled.
But the thing is, when you're in love, time simply does not matter.
It comes and goes, birthdays, anniversaries, weekends, it moves on,
but it moves on in our lover's eyes and how we draw out every kiss
and how every hug is caught in the moment, suspended in this second,
begging to never let go and to try and stop time from moving any quicker.
When you're in love, every precious moment is not taken for granted,
it's not wished away, the clock is not watched, cell phones are left
on book cases or desk or in bags and simply forgotten. Time becomes
fragile. It becomes that thing that cannot be quicken or slowed,
it just is let be to be time, to let the hours slowly tick by on the grandfather
clock. It is accepted and so is your kiss, your hug, your love into my heart.
or days until something special or when we need to be somewhere.
We obsess over how the traffic is going to make us late or missing
an appointment that was directly at 8 a.m. and can't be rescheduled.
But the thing is, when you're in love, time simply does not matter.
It comes and goes, birthdays, anniversaries, weekends, it moves on,
but it moves on in our lover's eyes and how we draw out every kiss
and how every hug is caught in the moment, suspended in this second,
begging to never let go and to try and stop time from moving any quicker.
When you're in love, every precious moment is not taken for granted,
it's not wished away, the clock is not watched, cell phones are left
on book cases or desk or in bags and simply forgotten. Time becomes
fragile. It becomes that thing that cannot be quicken or slowed,
it just is let be to be time, to let the hours slowly tick by on the grandfather
clock. It is accepted and so is your kiss, your hug, your love into my heart.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Discuss: Extroverts and Introverts in a Relationship
I'd like to discuss this. As we know, extroverts and introverts can be complete opposites. Sometimes, a person is on such an extreme end of extrovert or introvert that they may find it difficult to mix with someone on the opposite end of the spectrum.
From my experience as what I would probably call an extreme extrovert, I can get along with introverts as friends ok, but as a relational partner, not so much. If a person exhibits some introvert characteristics, the works fine alone, can be quiet, etc, I can get along with them just fine. My own significant other right now is a mix between an extrovert and introvert (though if you ask him, he might say he's more introvert, however, I know better.)
However, in past experiences, I can't seem to make it mix with an extreme introvert. Maybe it's just me and that's why I want to discuss this. But someone who is completely closed off with their thoughts or goes out in la la daydream land way too much or just wants to stay home all the time and be alone or play video games or not talk about things, drives me insane.
As an extrovert, I like to talk. I like to listen and communicate. I like to be around people. I like to have fun and be with my friends and do things outside of the house. I can hang around a house too, but I'll quickly feel lazy and need to get up and do something. Or I'll just get bored. It's like there's no stimulation for me just sitting around. I like to keep busy.
What I'm wondering is how consistent this thought may be across the board. Whether you're hetero or homosexual, do you identify as an extreme extrovert or introvert? Who do you find you mold with best when it comes to significant others?
From my experience as what I would probably call an extreme extrovert, I can get along with introverts as friends ok, but as a relational partner, not so much. If a person exhibits some introvert characteristics, the works fine alone, can be quiet, etc, I can get along with them just fine. My own significant other right now is a mix between an extrovert and introvert (though if you ask him, he might say he's more introvert, however, I know better.)
However, in past experiences, I can't seem to make it mix with an extreme introvert. Maybe it's just me and that's why I want to discuss this. But someone who is completely closed off with their thoughts or goes out in la la daydream land way too much or just wants to stay home all the time and be alone or play video games or not talk about things, drives me insane.
As an extrovert, I like to talk. I like to listen and communicate. I like to be around people. I like to have fun and be with my friends and do things outside of the house. I can hang around a house too, but I'll quickly feel lazy and need to get up and do something. Or I'll just get bored. It's like there's no stimulation for me just sitting around. I like to keep busy.
What I'm wondering is how consistent this thought may be across the board. Whether you're hetero or homosexual, do you identify as an extreme extrovert or introvert? Who do you find you mold with best when it comes to significant others?
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Chevy
And I will sit shotgun in your Chevy Silverado,
feet on the dash, windows open, hair flying,
as the cool summer breeze whips around us,
sun gazing down on my sunglasses,
no clouds in the air, no rain droplets to ruin the moment,
blasting country with your hand in mine
twisting fingers together, light squeezes,
silent words of I love you,
and it'll be one of the happiest moments of my life.
feet on the dash, windows open, hair flying,
as the cool summer breeze whips around us,
sun gazing down on my sunglasses,
no clouds in the air, no rain droplets to ruin the moment,
blasting country with your hand in mine
twisting fingers together, light squeezes,
silent words of I love you,
and it'll be one of the happiest moments of my life.
Friday, July 26, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Sometimes
Sometimes I just don't know
how he dries my tears
as the stress rolls down my cheeks in waves
and just speaks in his deep calm voice
steadily assuring me that it's all ok.
It's not anything he's done wrong
it's not even anything wrong with our love.
It's all the outside world as it pummels
its wrath down upon me, conflicting
and fighting with every text, every email,
every phone call in which someone lies
or argues or criticizes. Nothing can be cheerful
some days. Sometimes I just don't know
how to deal, but he sits, hugs me,
a kiss on the forehead or the lips,
hands me tissues and just makes me say
"It'll all be ok."
how he dries my tears
as the stress rolls down my cheeks in waves
and just speaks in his deep calm voice
steadily assuring me that it's all ok.
It's not anything he's done wrong
it's not even anything wrong with our love.
It's all the outside world as it pummels
its wrath down upon me, conflicting
and fighting with every text, every email,
every phone call in which someone lies
or argues or criticizes. Nothing can be cheerful
some days. Sometimes I just don't know
how to deal, but he sits, hugs me,
a kiss on the forehead or the lips,
hands me tissues and just makes me say
"It'll all be ok."
Road Miles
You can't undo a fall like this cause love don't know a distance.
I don't care that we have to micromanage trips
and budget gas money just for the trips
or that it takes me an hour in traffic
to arrive at your house on a Wednesday night.
Because with us, it's crazy but it works
and we fought for too long
to let a little bit of cruisin' harm us.
So I'll roll down my windows
turn up the country music,
slide on my shades, fill the gas tank
and cruise along, smiling knowing you're
at the end of the journey.
We make this work,
every drive, every day, every single smile
that we get in. I have learned to love this road,
love the anticipation of your kiss, your arms around me.
I don't care that we have to micromanage trips
and budget gas money just for the trips
or that it takes me an hour in traffic
to arrive at your house on a Wednesday night.
Because with us, it's crazy but it works
and we fought for too long
to let a little bit of cruisin' harm us.
So I'll roll down my windows
turn up the country music,
slide on my shades, fill the gas tank
and cruise along, smiling knowing you're
at the end of the journey.
We make this work,
every drive, every day, every single smile
that we get in. I have learned to love this road,
love the anticipation of your kiss, your arms around me.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Waking Dream
Sometimes I don't know how I got so lucky
to have you curled up beside me, wrapped in your arms
but then I remember that this was meant to be
and that you are mine as I am yours.
In the morning, it is like I am still in a dream state
drowsy with sleep and head resting on your chest
hair spread everywhere, legs entangled
as you slowly open your eyes and a good morning kiss.
It is the warmth that comes from being with you,
it is the not needing a sheet even with the fans
blowing cool air over us because our body heat
is enough to make our temperatures just right.
It is the safety and comfort that comes from sleeping
in your t shirt, against the wall, guarded by you
from all evils, all monsters under the bed or demons
in the closet. It is how we love each other.
to have you curled up beside me, wrapped in your arms
but then I remember that this was meant to be
and that you are mine as I am yours.
In the morning, it is like I am still in a dream state
drowsy with sleep and head resting on your chest
hair spread everywhere, legs entangled
as you slowly open your eyes and a good morning kiss.
It is the warmth that comes from being with you,
it is the not needing a sheet even with the fans
blowing cool air over us because our body heat
is enough to make our temperatures just right.
It is the safety and comfort that comes from sleeping
in your t shirt, against the wall, guarded by you
from all evils, all monsters under the bed or demons
in the closet. It is how we love each other.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Thoughts on being a working woman
It's been over a month since I started working at a daily newspaper. With college behind me and the world in front of me, I will admit sometimes it's been overwhelming. You have those moments of "am I doing everything my boss needs me to do?" or "is this article ok?" You have some moments of doubt, but somehow you push by them and keep going.
It's kind of been nice working a full time 40 hour a week job, driving my car, coming home to my apartment and spending weekends with my boyfriend. Eventually it settles into a routine. Everything becomes the norm. But then you have those little things that make each day special.
Like today, I don't have any cases in court, but I'm off to a new boutique that opened recently in a half hour and then this afternoon visiting a camp that's teaching its campers to refurbish computers with the help of local college students to give the computers to the needy. It's a satisfying job to know I can make a difference in the world. Or like the fact that this weekend, I'm looking forward to going strawberry picking and go kart racing with the boy. It's the little things.
Sometimes yes, working in the real world feels robotic. It feels like the same thing day after day, but then you have to remind yourself of the things that make each day different. I quite like being in the working world. It's a lifestyle that suits me well.
It's kind of been nice working a full time 40 hour a week job, driving my car, coming home to my apartment and spending weekends with my boyfriend. Eventually it settles into a routine. Everything becomes the norm. But then you have those little things that make each day special.
Like today, I don't have any cases in court, but I'm off to a new boutique that opened recently in a half hour and then this afternoon visiting a camp that's teaching its campers to refurbish computers with the help of local college students to give the computers to the needy. It's a satisfying job to know I can make a difference in the world. Or like the fact that this weekend, I'm looking forward to going strawberry picking and go kart racing with the boy. It's the little things.
Sometimes yes, working in the real world feels robotic. It feels like the same thing day after day, but then you have to remind yourself of the things that make each day different. I quite like being in the working world. It's a lifestyle that suits me well.
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Heat of the Night
It didn't matter how the summer heat stuck to our skin
pasting our shirts to our chests and shoulders, hair glued
every which way as the light breeze drifted in through
the window, but was never enough to completely soothe
the eyes and let sleep drift into our minds.
It was as I laid next to you, touching but not cuddling
for the summer heat felt like flames on our arms
heads turned toward each other, eyes meeting eyes,
not smiling, not laughing, however sharing
a quiet moment where words were not necessary.
The air mattress squeaked when we moved
however we were motionless as the moment drew
on, eyes barely blinking as you brought your lips
to mine, sparking more electric flames down my spine
and spreading the heat of love into my body.
I did not care that it made me even more warm inside
and that the humidity in the air stifled my movements.
No. It was about how I knew I trusted you, how exes
did not matter, histories faded into the sky as the clouds
grew black over the sun, letting the stars peak through.
It was about in that moment of the heat of the night
my heart opened up just a little more, a little farther
than anyone had ever been let in. It was about how
that one look shared between us shared more
than just the sight of each other's faces.
pasting our shirts to our chests and shoulders, hair glued
every which way as the light breeze drifted in through
the window, but was never enough to completely soothe
the eyes and let sleep drift into our minds.
It was as I laid next to you, touching but not cuddling
for the summer heat felt like flames on our arms
heads turned toward each other, eyes meeting eyes,
not smiling, not laughing, however sharing
a quiet moment where words were not necessary.
The air mattress squeaked when we moved
however we were motionless as the moment drew
on, eyes barely blinking as you brought your lips
to mine, sparking more electric flames down my spine
and spreading the heat of love into my body.
I did not care that it made me even more warm inside
and that the humidity in the air stifled my movements.
No. It was about how I knew I trusted you, how exes
did not matter, histories faded into the sky as the clouds
grew black over the sun, letting the stars peak through.
It was about in that moment of the heat of the night
my heart opened up just a little more, a little farther
than anyone had ever been let in. It was about how
that one look shared between us shared more
than just the sight of each other's faces.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Spiral
Spirals remind me of forever
they are hypnotic in their twirl,
catching the eye and keeping it too.
A spiral is a lot like our love
how it refuses to stop and is wrapped
together, bound as one, never ending.
So let our love be like the copper spiral
hanging from my neck
and be never ending and enraptured.
they are hypnotic in their twirl,
catching the eye and keeping it too.
A spiral is a lot like our love
how it refuses to stop and is wrapped
together, bound as one, never ending.
So let our love be like the copper spiral
hanging from my neck
and be never ending and enraptured.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Mirror
It only takes one second in the mirror to see the beautiful, cheerful, confident woman he brings out in me.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Safe Eyes
There's something about the way you look at me,
straight in the eye, no lies to be seen,
that I know you will protect me day in
day out, every night of every year.
There's something about starring into those eyes
and knowing you'll hold me when times are tough
and small teardrops roll down my cheek,
at no fault of your own.
There's something about how you look at me
and when you say I love you,
it means more than just words,
the love is streaming from your eyes to me.
And I love you too.
straight in the eye, no lies to be seen,
that I know you will protect me day in
day out, every night of every year.
There's something about starring into those eyes
and knowing you'll hold me when times are tough
and small teardrops roll down my cheek,
at no fault of your own.
There's something about how you look at me
and when you say I love you,
it means more than just words,
the love is streaming from your eyes to me.
And I love you too.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Silent Love
We don't need words to express the look in our eyes.
We don't need sound to understand desire.
We don't need to use ears to hear the love between us.
It is a silent coming together,
a great deed personal to each of us,
your lips meeting mine,
you could hear a pin drop.
I love how we can read each other's movements,
from bodies to eyes
and know silently what we share.
Monday, June 3, 2013
The Truth about Fairy Tales
When you're little, all you want to do is believe in fairy tales. You want to believe there's a happily ever after for everyone. You want to think that someday you'll find out you're a secret princess who never knew that she was royal. You want the riches and the glamor and everything that comes along with it. But most of all, you want your prince charming to come and sweep you off your feet.
But at some point in your childhood, someone destroys that perfect little world in your mind. They want to tell you the truth about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. They want to tell you how mean the world is and how happily ever after never comes true. They want to tell you that prince charming isn't out that and that you have to keep kissing frogs until one may magically turn up being your prince.
The thing is, those people are only partly true. Sure, fairy tales aren't real. Frogs don't become humans. Glass slippers don't magically fit. Fairy godmothers don't appear at a teardrop's notice. No, the thing about the world is that you have to try. Sure, you'll find your frogs. You'll get sucked into them and eventually, figure out they aren't going to turn into a prince.
Maybe I'm a dreamer. Okay, yeah I'm a dreamer. But what I've found in my dreams is a fresh perspective on life. I've discovered that yes, you have to try. No one is perfect. No one is magically going to turn into that rich, handsome prince on a white horse. However, I don't want that kind of prince because he's not real. I'm not perfect so I can't expect anyone else to be.
Eventually though, you find someone that's perfect for you. That somehow both of your flaws make each of you whole. Both of your flaws and your features make each other happy. That's the true fairy tale. When you find someone that's compatible and willing to fight the dragons alongside you, not for you.
But at some point in your childhood, someone destroys that perfect little world in your mind. They want to tell you the truth about Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. They want to tell you how mean the world is and how happily ever after never comes true. They want to tell you that prince charming isn't out that and that you have to keep kissing frogs until one may magically turn up being your prince.
The thing is, those people are only partly true. Sure, fairy tales aren't real. Frogs don't become humans. Glass slippers don't magically fit. Fairy godmothers don't appear at a teardrop's notice. No, the thing about the world is that you have to try. Sure, you'll find your frogs. You'll get sucked into them and eventually, figure out they aren't going to turn into a prince.
Maybe I'm a dreamer. Okay, yeah I'm a dreamer. But what I've found in my dreams is a fresh perspective on life. I've discovered that yes, you have to try. No one is perfect. No one is magically going to turn into that rich, handsome prince on a white horse. However, I don't want that kind of prince because he's not real. I'm not perfect so I can't expect anyone else to be.
Eventually though, you find someone that's perfect for you. That somehow both of your flaws make each of you whole. Both of your flaws and your features make each other happy. That's the true fairy tale. When you find someone that's compatible and willing to fight the dragons alongside you, not for you.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Letter to an Ex
Dear Ex,
Thank you. And when I say thank you, it's a thank you for breaking up with me. You didn't know that when I told you thank you. But that's what it's for. It's a thank you for teaching me what I didn't want in a relationship. It's a thank you for making me realize just what childish and clingy means. It's a thank you for making me realize that you clouded my judgment. And although I was happy with you at one point in my life, I have realized just how much of a child I was back then. And now, with my big girl job with an editor who already loves me after a week and with the guy I almost didn't see because of you who has every quality I've looked for in my life, I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for getting my life back. You did teach me a lot about self confidence, but when I found out what you said after our relationship to my best friends, yeah, thank you for dumping me. Through that, I saw the true you and I won't miss you. Thought they would never tell me? Yeah, go eat dust. They're my girls. Of course they told me.
But you know, one thing I've learned is that what really doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Because now I watch myself go places. I was on the front page of my very first article for my new job. Does that say something about my success? Yeah it does. Oh what are you doing? Oh yeah, nothing.
Defriend me on Facebook. Do whatever you want. But I don't care a bit. Because I have seen how amazing the world is without you anywhere around. I've stepped into a new, career focused life supported by a man who truly loves me for me, something I doubt you ever did sometimes.
So thank you for dumping me because if we had never ended, I would never have realized just how messed up it was and all the amazing things that I was missing.
Sincerely,
The Girl
Thank you. And when I say thank you, it's a thank you for breaking up with me. You didn't know that when I told you thank you. But that's what it's for. It's a thank you for teaching me what I didn't want in a relationship. It's a thank you for making me realize just what childish and clingy means. It's a thank you for making me realize that you clouded my judgment. And although I was happy with you at one point in my life, I have realized just how much of a child I was back then. And now, with my big girl job with an editor who already loves me after a week and with the guy I almost didn't see because of you who has every quality I've looked for in my life, I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for getting my life back. You did teach me a lot about self confidence, but when I found out what you said after our relationship to my best friends, yeah, thank you for dumping me. Through that, I saw the true you and I won't miss you. Thought they would never tell me? Yeah, go eat dust. They're my girls. Of course they told me.
But you know, one thing I've learned is that what really doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Because now I watch myself go places. I was on the front page of my very first article for my new job. Does that say something about my success? Yeah it does. Oh what are you doing? Oh yeah, nothing.
Defriend me on Facebook. Do whatever you want. But I don't care a bit. Because I have seen how amazing the world is without you anywhere around. I've stepped into a new, career focused life supported by a man who truly loves me for me, something I doubt you ever did sometimes.
So thank you for dumping me because if we had never ended, I would never have realized just how messed up it was and all the amazing things that I was missing.
Sincerely,
The Girl
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Lightning
As the lightning streaks across the sky, I'm reminded of how you've struck my heart with a love louder than any thunder and with the blessings of a thousand raindrops.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Mirrors- Justin Timberlake
"I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along."
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along."
Reflections on College
I'm done. I can't believe this day has come. Three years ago, I would never have imagined I would be graduating early and being as successful as I am. It's
so weird how fast college has gone by. I have moved out of college for the
final time. I have my degree. And I'm thankful. I'm thankful for the
fact that I'm coming out of school with a car, a job, an apartment and
an amazing boyfriend. I'm also thankful to all my family and friends and
APO who have supported me and encouraged me throughout my life and
especially the 3 years I have spent at college. I couldn't have done it
without you guys and you are loved.
Freshmen year, I met a group of the most awesome, funny people that have brought me through my college years. They lived on my dorm floor and became my big brother and sister. You two I love dearly and always will. That year I also met the man who would come to be my side, even if we did not fully realize it that year.
Sophomore year was spent with The Informer and learning the ways of being a hard hitting journalist. It helped form me and mature me into a professional, polished person.
Junior/Senior year (they totally were molded together) brought me into the loving arms of APO and doing community service and having a new family. I continued to learn, grow and mature and now, having graduated, this year meant the most to me. By the end, I was in the arms of the man I love being at my side. I managed to snag a job in my career.
I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life. I'm off to do great things and new doors have opened up for me. I'm ready to see where life will take me.
Freshmen year, I met a group of the most awesome, funny people that have brought me through my college years. They lived on my dorm floor and became my big brother and sister. You two I love dearly and always will. That year I also met the man who would come to be my side, even if we did not fully realize it that year.
Sophomore year was spent with The Informer and learning the ways of being a hard hitting journalist. It helped form me and mature me into a professional, polished person.
Junior/Senior year (they totally were molded together) brought me into the loving arms of APO and doing community service and having a new family. I continued to learn, grow and mature and now, having graduated, this year meant the most to me. By the end, I was in the arms of the man I love being at my side. I managed to snag a job in my career.
I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life. I'm off to do great things and new doors have opened up for me. I'm ready to see where life will take me.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Explanation of the Girl Codes
I'm sure by now many of you have found your way to my blog to read the Girl Code entries. Unlike anything else on this blog, Girl Code has been a way for me to show more of my sassy, blunt side. The truth is, there's a lot of things that we girls don't talk about or things that we assume are one way, but other girls see as another. These entries have been a way to address many issues.
The other thing is, don't agree? Comment on an entry. I will be more than willing to respond and have a conversation. That's what I'm trying to start with these, a conversation. Because it needs to happen. Have a topic suggestion you'd like me to cover? Let me know! I'd be more than happy to talk about something girls feel need to be addressed.
The other thing is, don't agree? Comment on an entry. I will be more than willing to respond and have a conversation. That's what I'm trying to start with these, a conversation. Because it needs to happen. Have a topic suggestion you'd like me to cover? Let me know! I'd be more than happy to talk about something girls feel need to be addressed.
Girl Code: Needs
Yes we're talking about the kind of needs that mostly everyone (with some exceptions) need in their life; sex. Now to begin with a disclaimer for this blog entry, I'm not saying that everyone has to have sex. But if your boyfriend/girlfriend is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and pulling away because needs aren't being met and you just aren't ready, it's time to have a serious discussion or cut the cord because you may not be compatible.
Sex is normal in nature and in humans. It's not this huge taboo thing like some people make it out to be. It's also not how to run your life. But the thing is, sex is good. And in a relationship, like anything else, sexual chemistry is important. It simply has to be there. That's when it comes to balances. Everything needs to be balanced.
What I'm trying to say is that your sex drive should probably closely match your partner's or at least discuss why it may not be and how things could be worked out for both people. Example: A couple where the girl is a virgin, guy is not. Girl just isn't comfortable with her sexuality at all. She'll flirt and tease, but never actually go with it. Guy, on the other hand, is craving. He's had a friends with benefits in the past. But after months without anything, life is tough. They begin clashing because she doesn't get why he needs it and he feels backed in a corner because although he likes the girl, she just isn't right for him. Sexual chemistry.
Even with some really good relationships, things break down because of a lack of sexual chemistry. It's not even just the chemistry sometimes. Good marriages break down because they stop having sex. It's a time to connect with your partner. If there's issues, the couple needs to talk about it.
Don't repress feelings just because you're scared what the other may say or think. It's important to speak up and say "I'm unhappy because we're not having sex." Discuss why that's occurring and figure out what page both of you are on. Sometimes, an agreement can't be reached and that's when it's time to maybe split and find a way to be satisfied elsewhere. In another relationship with an sexual balance will probably be more fulfilling. Who knows? You just need to talk. Don't make sexual problems more taboo to talk about in our culture than it already is.
Sex is normal in nature and in humans. It's not this huge taboo thing like some people make it out to be. It's also not how to run your life. But the thing is, sex is good. And in a relationship, like anything else, sexual chemistry is important. It simply has to be there. That's when it comes to balances. Everything needs to be balanced.
What I'm trying to say is that your sex drive should probably closely match your partner's or at least discuss why it may not be and how things could be worked out for both people. Example: A couple where the girl is a virgin, guy is not. Girl just isn't comfortable with her sexuality at all. She'll flirt and tease, but never actually go with it. Guy, on the other hand, is craving. He's had a friends with benefits in the past. But after months without anything, life is tough. They begin clashing because she doesn't get why he needs it and he feels backed in a corner because although he likes the girl, she just isn't right for him. Sexual chemistry.
Even with some really good relationships, things break down because of a lack of sexual chemistry. It's not even just the chemistry sometimes. Good marriages break down because they stop having sex. It's a time to connect with your partner. If there's issues, the couple needs to talk about it.
Don't repress feelings just because you're scared what the other may say or think. It's important to speak up and say "I'm unhappy because we're not having sex." Discuss why that's occurring and figure out what page both of you are on. Sometimes, an agreement can't be reached and that's when it's time to maybe split and find a way to be satisfied elsewhere. In another relationship with an sexual balance will probably be more fulfilling. Who knows? You just need to talk. Don't make sexual problems more taboo to talk about in our culture than it already is.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Bang Bang by will.i.am
This is when my boyfriend should be happy that I was a competitive ballroom dancer in high school...
Girl Code: Slutty
So girls, why are we so mean? We go around and police bars, picking out all the girls that are "sluts." Ok sure, we can all admit we've probably done it. I know I am not without guilt. But the thing is, why do we think it's any of our business? That girl may have just gone through a wicked break up and wanted some time to have fun and flirt around.
Sluts can own it. Most of the time, they have the most confidence out of anyone in the crowd where they go. They know who they are and what they want and they own it. They rock being a slut. MTV's Girl Code defines a "Triple Threat" slut as being one that's showing cleavage, stomach and leg. But so what? If she wants to dress that way and make out with random guys, who is to say that's a bad thing? She's not harming you. Well, unless she starts going after your boyfriend. Then that's not ok.
But seriously, girls, we need to stop the slut shaming. Work with your friends to stop each other when you find yourself doing it. I know I could use a nudge to be nicer sometimes. We don't like guys calling us sluts so why are we calling each other sluts? Get out of other girls' businesses and live your own life. Don't want to be a slut? Don't.
Sluts can own it. Most of the time, they have the most confidence out of anyone in the crowd where they go. They know who they are and what they want and they own it. They rock being a slut. MTV's Girl Code defines a "Triple Threat" slut as being one that's showing cleavage, stomach and leg. But so what? If she wants to dress that way and make out with random guys, who is to say that's a bad thing? She's not harming you. Well, unless she starts going after your boyfriend. Then that's not ok.
But seriously, girls, we need to stop the slut shaming. Work with your friends to stop each other when you find yourself doing it. I know I could use a nudge to be nicer sometimes. We don't like guys calling us sluts so why are we calling each other sluts? Get out of other girls' businesses and live your own life. Don't want to be a slut? Don't.
When Harry Met Sally
Three years ago,
we were sitting across a conference table,
trading looks, learning journalism
trading looks, learning journalism
and I know you wondered
as I did
as I did
what we could be like.
Friends, can men and women
be only friends,
was the question of the years
as we struggled
with defining what we were.
When Harry Met Sally,
touch and go, testing the waters,
trying on other people to see
if they would fit,
but they never did.
Friends, can men and women
be only friends,
was the question of the years
as we struggled
with defining what we were.
When Harry Met Sally,
touch and go, testing the waters,
trying on other people to see
if they would fit,
but they never did.
Sure enough, it's been three years
and now you're lying next to me,
my head on your chest listening
my head on your chest listening
to your heart beat
expressing our love
together at last.
expressing our love
together at last.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips
You're my back bone,
You're my cornerstone
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving
You're my head start,
You're my rugged heart
You're the pulse that I've always needed
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
You're my cornerstone
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving
You're my head start,
You're my rugged heart
You're the pulse that I've always needed
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Nerd Love- revised
We have always been touch and go, leaning
close, lips almost touching, hands and fingers
interlaced yet pulled away, dark eyes seeming
to understand that there is more than just smiles.
We flinch and fiddle, dance around the defining
of the relationship, instead we play
Star Wars and cuddle tight, refining
what we know, cater to each other's needs.
It is a coy night filled with video games,
helping each other with quests of the heart,
battling the Sith lords that are not so lame,
but our limbs never touch, we’re always apart.
But when the monsters are dead, your eyes smile
and as we kiss, it all becomes worthwhile.
close, lips almost touching, hands and fingers
interlaced yet pulled away, dark eyes seeming
to understand that there is more than just smiles.
We flinch and fiddle, dance around the defining
of the relationship, instead we play
Star Wars and cuddle tight, refining
what we know, cater to each other's needs.
It is a coy night filled with video games,
helping each other with quests of the heart,
battling the Sith lords that are not so lame,
but our limbs never touch, we’re always apart.
But when the monsters are dead, your eyes smile
and as we kiss, it all becomes worthwhile.
Friday, May 3, 2013
May Day
When I was growing up, my mom used to tell me
If it's meant to be, it'll all work out.
I doubted it sometimes, pain hurt too much
when I lost the person I thought would be forever.
But just maybe she was right. Because you and I
have certainly been those "the universe knew
and you two didn't." And that is when, I look up
into the sky and thank the universe for knowing better than I.
It was supposed to be dinner as friends then turned
into ice cream for dinner when I had a tough day.
It was so simple, it had always been easy to laugh with you,
but it was the flirty hug from behind the made my heart skip a beat.
It was the usual lounging in my living room, playing Star Wars,
cuddling on the couch, poking, tickling and finally a kiss
that set things off. And that is when you finally took the plunge
with me. "I L U" turned into "I love you" with you
slipping my Claddagh off my finger and fixing it,
declaring to each other it was time to give this a fair shot
because why not, the universe already knew
and it was time for us to find out.
If it's meant to be, it'll all work out.
I doubted it sometimes, pain hurt too much
when I lost the person I thought would be forever.
But just maybe she was right. Because you and I
have certainly been those "the universe knew
and you two didn't." And that is when, I look up
into the sky and thank the universe for knowing better than I.
It was supposed to be dinner as friends then turned
into ice cream for dinner when I had a tough day.
It was so simple, it had always been easy to laugh with you,
but it was the flirty hug from behind the made my heart skip a beat.
It was the usual lounging in my living room, playing Star Wars,
cuddling on the couch, poking, tickling and finally a kiss
that set things off. And that is when you finally took the plunge
with me. "I L U" turned into "I love you" with you
slipping my Claddagh off my finger and fixing it,
declaring to each other it was time to give this a fair shot
because why not, the universe already knew
and it was time for us to find out.
Friday, April 26, 2013
The Student Asks the Poet Basho: What is Victoria's Secret? (anonymous)
(I have to memorize and recite this for class.)
Eight pairs of sexy panties
so many pathways
to the cherry tree.
The bamboo
has two new shoots:
my lover's spagetti straps.
Tonight to drown my longing
I drink sake
from her seamless cups.
White birches
along the water.
Women in matching coordinates.
In this world
there are straw sandals.
Then there are bedroom slippers.
Our time on earth
high-cut brief.
From this planet
the stars only come
in small and extra small.
The crows lift from the limb.
Take off
your black thong.
Out of loneliness,
I try on
your blackberry brassiere.
Eight pairs of sexy panties
so many pathways
to the cherry tree.
The bamboo
has two new shoots:
my lover's spagetti straps.
Tonight to drown my longing
I drink sake
from her seamless cups.
White birches
along the water.
Women in matching coordinates.
In this world
there are straw sandals.
Then there are bedroom slippers.
Our time on earth
high-cut brief.
From this planet
the stars only come
in small and extra small.
The crows lift from the limb.
Take off
your black thong.
Out of loneliness,
I try on
your blackberry brassiere.
Girl Code: Phone Etiquette
Cell phones. We all have them. We all use them. About a decade ago, they were rare pieces of technology that maybe only your parents had. Now, we can't walk out the front door without them. But the thing is, there's rules that go along with phones. There's understood things that you can and cannot do with a girlfriend's phone.
1) Don't hack her Facebook and post anything that she may have the reaction of "Oh shit my mom/work/grandmother can't see this!" and tries to delete it. That's bad. Funny joke? Ok. Racy sext from her boyfriend? No.
2) Talking about racy sexts, don't snoop on a girlfriend's texts. She's texting for a reason. Leave her be. She may be sexting the new boy she's seeing or maybe it's just an innocent text to her mom. Or maybe she needs to tell another girlfriend something that she's not close enough to tell you. If you need to know, she'll tell you.
3) Only answer her phone if she asks you too. So you guys are all getting dressed for a night at the bars and one friend's phone goes off and she's in the bathroom. If she yells, "Who is it?" look at it and tell her. She'll probably say leave it or answer it.
4) If she shows you a picture and hands you her phone unlocked, only look at that photo. Again, do you want to see some racy photos from her long distance relationship? I didn't think so. Stay on that page and that page alone.
5) If your girlfriend's phone is unlocked and you're at a bar, don't take this chance to be stupid. Maybe tell her "Hey, you should put a password on that." Don't let a friend text drunk. Bad idea.
1) Don't hack her Facebook and post anything that she may have the reaction of "Oh shit my mom/work/grandmother can't see this!" and tries to delete it. That's bad. Funny joke? Ok. Racy sext from her boyfriend? No.
2) Talking about racy sexts, don't snoop on a girlfriend's texts. She's texting for a reason. Leave her be. She may be sexting the new boy she's seeing or maybe it's just an innocent text to her mom. Or maybe she needs to tell another girlfriend something that she's not close enough to tell you. If you need to know, she'll tell you.
3) Only answer her phone if she asks you too. So you guys are all getting dressed for a night at the bars and one friend's phone goes off and she's in the bathroom. If she yells, "Who is it?" look at it and tell her. She'll probably say leave it or answer it.
4) If she shows you a picture and hands you her phone unlocked, only look at that photo. Again, do you want to see some racy photos from her long distance relationship? I didn't think so. Stay on that page and that page alone.
5) If your girlfriend's phone is unlocked and you're at a bar, don't take this chance to be stupid. Maybe tell her "Hey, you should put a password on that." Don't let a friend text drunk. Bad idea.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Girl Code: The Rule of Boys
Your girlfriend and you both see the same guy across the bar. He's cute and he's smiling toward your direction, but have no idea who he's really into, you or your friend? The thing is, there's a rule of guys as far as who gets you.
Rule 1: Exes. Never ever go after your friend's ex. That is, if you value your friendship with the girl. No matter how chill she is about it or how over him she seems like she is, it's not ok. It gets awkward. At times, people will ask her questions about your boyfriend instead of you. The relationship will be strained as he won't know how to act about you two together. No matter what, no matter the attraction you have with the guy, STAY CLEAR. It's not worth it. It's really not. Girlfriends stick around forever (or they try to.) Guys come and go. Also, your friend will respect you a lot more if you stay away. If you go for it, it shows you really don't care about your friendship and are willing to throw it into the trash. Don't expect her to hold your hand while you cry or pour you a glass of wine when you break up. By that point, you've thrown the guy and your friend in the trash.
Rule 2: Boyfriends. Do I really need to say this? Maybe I do. DON'T YOU DARE GO AFTER A GIRLFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND. What the heck are you doing? What in the world is giving you the idea that this is a good thing? NO. Just no. 100% off limits.
Rule 3: Casual dating. Again, this is kind of like exes or boyfriends. Just don't do it. If she's already gone on a first date with the guy, just leave them be. If there's no chemistry, there may not be chemistry and as long as they didn't have sex or there weren't really serious feelings, maybe you'll have a chance.
Rule 4: Crushes. This is where the territory gets murky. This is back to the bar scene. Analyze your love life and her love life. Have you been on a couple dates recently while she sits at home drinking wine and watching rom coms? Give her a break and let her try. Opposite? Tell her. "Hey, you've had a lot of dates. I'd like this one." Establish it openly. If not, things can get confusing and miscommunication could rule all. Everyone appreciates a girlfriend just being clear. Maybe she smiled back at him, but she's really not interested. You won't know until you talk.
Rule 1: Exes. Never ever go after your friend's ex. That is, if you value your friendship with the girl. No matter how chill she is about it or how over him she seems like she is, it's not ok. It gets awkward. At times, people will ask her questions about your boyfriend instead of you. The relationship will be strained as he won't know how to act about you two together. No matter what, no matter the attraction you have with the guy, STAY CLEAR. It's not worth it. It's really not. Girlfriends stick around forever (or they try to.) Guys come and go. Also, your friend will respect you a lot more if you stay away. If you go for it, it shows you really don't care about your friendship and are willing to throw it into the trash. Don't expect her to hold your hand while you cry or pour you a glass of wine when you break up. By that point, you've thrown the guy and your friend in the trash.
Rule 2: Boyfriends. Do I really need to say this? Maybe I do. DON'T YOU DARE GO AFTER A GIRLFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND. What the heck are you doing? What in the world is giving you the idea that this is a good thing? NO. Just no. 100% off limits.
Rule 3: Casual dating. Again, this is kind of like exes or boyfriends. Just don't do it. If she's already gone on a first date with the guy, just leave them be. If there's no chemistry, there may not be chemistry and as long as they didn't have sex or there weren't really serious feelings, maybe you'll have a chance.
Rule 4: Crushes. This is where the territory gets murky. This is back to the bar scene. Analyze your love life and her love life. Have you been on a couple dates recently while she sits at home drinking wine and watching rom coms? Give her a break and let her try. Opposite? Tell her. "Hey, you've had a lot of dates. I'd like this one." Establish it openly. If not, things can get confusing and miscommunication could rule all. Everyone appreciates a girlfriend just being clear. Maybe she smiled back at him, but she's really not interested. You won't know until you talk.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Goodbye (for now) Kiss
Do I go for it?
Nerves go along with first dates.
How was I supposed to know what to expect,
what to think when you picked me up?
Things are different from text to face.
Your face, oh your face. That smile,
you weren't what I expected,
you were so much more as we sat
in the grass, cutting off the top blades
with nerves, working up to eye contact,
rambling on as the guy in the distance
flew a kite in the spring breeze.
But guys usually make the first move.
But before I knew, you had me hooked,
chatting about my childhood,
playing true or false in the coffee shop,
your hand on my shoulder blade,
protecting, sweet, (I don't think you saw me smiling,)
playful banter about your Elantra
and how my Impala could kick its ass.
You took me for me, weird was endearing,
my height, adorable, the attitude, cute.
"Do you want to...?"
Watching you navigate back to campus,
the silly side of me revealing itself
along with the touch of sass
which you asked if I was from decades ago
using sassy as an adjective.
And when we finally pulled into that parking lot,
I didn't want to leave.
I want to.
Nerves go along with first dates.
How was I supposed to know what to expect,
what to think when you picked me up?
Things are different from text to face.
Your face, oh your face. That smile,
you weren't what I expected,
you were so much more as we sat
in the grass, cutting off the top blades
with nerves, working up to eye contact,
rambling on as the guy in the distance
flew a kite in the spring breeze.
But guys usually make the first move.
But before I knew, you had me hooked,
chatting about my childhood,
playing true or false in the coffee shop,
your hand on my shoulder blade,
protecting, sweet, (I don't think you saw me smiling,)
playful banter about your Elantra
and how my Impala could kick its ass.
You took me for me, weird was endearing,
my height, adorable, the attitude, cute.
"Do you want to...?"
Watching you navigate back to campus,
the silly side of me revealing itself
along with the touch of sass
which you asked if I was from decades ago
using sassy as an adjective.
And when we finally pulled into that parking lot,
I didn't want to leave.
I want to.
Heavy sleep
My body sinks into the sheets as the aroma of vanilla and cinnamon fill my nostrils. The darkness spreads its blanket over my bed as my muscles relax and I sleep.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Girl Code: Homewrecking
When you tell most people homewrecking, they define it as trying to get with someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend. Usually, it's just straight going after the person you're hitting on. However, while watching MTV's Awkward, I saw a new type of homewrecking.
There is such a thing as homewrecking by spending too much time around a couple. It's a thing.
Think about it. The homewrecker spends enough time with the couple that their relationship is stifled. It's ruined because they didn't get enough personal time away from the homewrecker. As in the example in Awkward, the couple felt pity for the guy and let him third wheel. When truthfully, he was trying to tear them apart.
Personally, I wouldn't have thought this was a thing. It's not the immediate form of homewrecking you think about. It's another addition for the girl code. Leave people be. Understand when you've overstayed your welcome and when you've started taking advantage of a couple. Go get your own guy. Go hang out with other friends. Have your own identity. Living vicariously through a couple is just not ok. A couple is defined as two, not three. Your friends and the couple will respect you a lot more for it and will appreciate it. If you're really their friend, you'll leave them be and let them be happy. There does come a time when you need to accept that they're happy together and you are the one that needs to move on.
There is such a thing as homewrecking by spending too much time around a couple. It's a thing.
Think about it. The homewrecker spends enough time with the couple that their relationship is stifled. It's ruined because they didn't get enough personal time away from the homewrecker. As in the example in Awkward, the couple felt pity for the guy and let him third wheel. When truthfully, he was trying to tear them apart.
Personally, I wouldn't have thought this was a thing. It's not the immediate form of homewrecking you think about. It's another addition for the girl code. Leave people be. Understand when you've overstayed your welcome and when you've started taking advantage of a couple. Go get your own guy. Go hang out with other friends. Have your own identity. Living vicariously through a couple is just not ok. A couple is defined as two, not three. Your friends and the couple will respect you a lot more for it and will appreciate it. If you're really their friend, you'll leave them be and let them be happy. There does come a time when you need to accept that they're happy together and you are the one that needs to move on.
Stop Running
(a ghazal)
I brought him to my bed today,
wrapped us up in blankets today.
The rain I escaped batters on the roof
leaving my umbrella on the floor to dry today.
But the bedsheets rustle in the night,
He only wants my body, my kisses, today.
The wolf howls outside, missing her pack.
I only wished to be with my friends today.
I did this to myself, I brought him here
and maybe my love for those eyes will grow today.
Stop running away, Kaitlyn dear,
and appreciated what's in front of you today.
I brought him to my bed today,
wrapped us up in blankets today.
The rain I escaped batters on the roof
leaving my umbrella on the floor to dry today.
But the bedsheets rustle in the night,
He only wants my body, my kisses, today.
The wolf howls outside, missing her pack.
I only wished to be with my friends today.
I did this to myself, I brought him here
and maybe my love for those eyes will grow today.
Stop running away, Kaitlyn dear,
and appreciated what's in front of you today.
Peer Pressure
(a ghazal)
He pours the rum in my coke, just do it.
They set up the pong table, just do it.
She brings me outside, sits me on the steps,
a lighter in her hand, a pack of cigs, just do it.
He corners me in the apartment, towering
over my petite frame, locking me in, just do it.
Let's take an adventure, they said, going to the river
leaning over the edge of the bridge rail, just do it.
The professors never know, she said,
scribbling answers in ink on my arm, just do it.
Don't listen to them, Kaitlyn, they know nothing.
At no time in life do you have to just do it.
He pours the rum in my coke, just do it.
They set up the pong table, just do it.
She brings me outside, sits me on the steps,
a lighter in her hand, a pack of cigs, just do it.
He corners me in the apartment, towering
over my petite frame, locking me in, just do it.
Let's take an adventure, they said, going to the river
leaning over the edge of the bridge rail, just do it.
The professors never know, she said,
scribbling answers in ink on my arm, just do it.
Don't listen to them, Kaitlyn, they know nothing.
At no time in life do you have to just do it.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The 'Fling
(For those that read into my poetry, this is completely fictional.)
It was Spring Fling. It was legal. The campus expected us to be a complete and royal shitfaced mess. It was ok to have
It was Spring Fling. It was legal. The campus expected us to be a complete and royal shitfaced mess. It was ok to have
bottles filled to
brim. A shot of run. Bodies
lay on rugged stairs.
I had lost count of my drinks. That was the first mistake. I had been crowned Champion of Beer Pong for the night. I could put that on a resume, right? But who is the boy laying next to me? I was not looking for love. His tossled hair screaming
sweat. Heated kisses.
Two animals on the Discovery
Channel, biting, mating.
What had I done? Had I remembered my birth control? Oops. Maybe it was time for a trip to CVS. The sunshine struggled to reach me through the blinds, light for the future. It blinded me as I pushed it away. The future hurt.
First Date
(a series of haiku)
Boy meets girl, take out
to dinner. Two fish numb in
the tank, motionless.
One hand reaches the
other. A match trying
to catch on a matchbox.
Drive home in dark, stare
outside window. Puppy at
door, hungry for love.
Final goodbye kiss,
sweet smile. Two toddlers swearing
friendship, forever oath.
Boy meets girl, take out
to dinner. Two fish numb in
the tank, motionless.
One hand reaches the
other. A match trying
to catch on a matchbox.
Drive home in dark, stare
outside window. Puppy at
door, hungry for love.
Final goodbye kiss,
sweet smile. Two toddlers swearing
friendship, forever oath.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Just a Faded Memory
(a sestina)
I starred into those hazel eyes,
but in those caves, there was nothing
only a miniscule glint of memories
on those lips lay all my past kisses.
So why do they question me like I am your girl friend?
They should be asking her, she has your heart.
I will curl up on my leather couch, Hart
of Dixie in the background, threading the eye
of my needle. I will go to bars with my friends
and drink, party and flirt like nothing
matters. That dark stranger will lay kisses
on my red lips. I will make new memories
without you. Sometimes I will flip through pictures, memory
bringing back the good and the bad. But my heart
has cleared. I now know many kinds of kisses,
I have looked into rainbows of eyes,
but I make myself feel nothing,
only some have become true friends.
I lean on them, my real friends.
We laugh over inside jokes, crafting memories
on drunken nights, but remembering nothing
the next day. The bar boys enjoy our heart
shaped asses as we fix our shoes, do not care for eyes,
only wish to feel our kisses.
But I can not live this way forever, kissing
the surface and skating through life with friends.
I have to look life in the eye,
mold my mind and shape my memory,
have someone quality help stitch my heart
and fill it with cheer, leaving nothing
behind to prick my skin, nothing
to harm my fragile kisses,
make me loyal, make an honest heart
out of me and find my best friend.
For I may recall you in memory,
but I no longer see eye to eye.
My heart will sing with sweet nothings,
a new set of eyes meeting my lips with a kiss,
a friend and rewritten memories.
I starred into those hazel eyes,
but in those caves, there was nothing
only a miniscule glint of memories
on those lips lay all my past kisses.
So why do they question me like I am your girl friend?
They should be asking her, she has your heart.
I will curl up on my leather couch, Hart
of Dixie in the background, threading the eye
of my needle. I will go to bars with my friends
and drink, party and flirt like nothing
matters. That dark stranger will lay kisses
on my red lips. I will make new memories
without you. Sometimes I will flip through pictures, memory
bringing back the good and the bad. But my heart
has cleared. I now know many kinds of kisses,
I have looked into rainbows of eyes,
but I make myself feel nothing,
only some have become true friends.
I lean on them, my real friends.
We laugh over inside jokes, crafting memories
on drunken nights, but remembering nothing
the next day. The bar boys enjoy our heart
shaped asses as we fix our shoes, do not care for eyes,
only wish to feel our kisses.
But I can not live this way forever, kissing
the surface and skating through life with friends.
I have to look life in the eye,
mold my mind and shape my memory,
have someone quality help stitch my heart
and fill it with cheer, leaving nothing
behind to prick my skin, nothing
to harm my fragile kisses,
make me loyal, make an honest heart
out of me and find my best friend.
For I may recall you in memory,
but I no longer see eye to eye.
My heart will sing with sweet nothings,
a new set of eyes meeting my lips with a kiss,
a friend and rewritten memories.
Monday, April 8, 2013
An Old Trap
(a pantoum)
Why don’t you love me?
I toss and turn, throwing blankets
my mind stuffed full of what ifs
scenarios of how things could be different.
I toss and turn, throwing blankets
but the dark peace of sleep never comes
scenarios of how things could be different
acted out on the stage that is my eyelids.
But the dark peace of sleep never comes,
Instead you haunt my dreams with your face
Showing up on the stage that is my eyelids
Voice saying, No. No it can’t be.
Instead you haunt my dreams
my mind stuffed full of what ifs,
your voice saying, No. Well maybe it can be.
But I do not love you anymore.
Why don’t you love me?
I toss and turn, throwing blankets
my mind stuffed full of what ifs
scenarios of how things could be different.
I toss and turn, throwing blankets
but the dark peace of sleep never comes
scenarios of how things could be different
acted out on the stage that is my eyelids.
But the dark peace of sleep never comes,
Instead you haunt my dreams with your face
Showing up on the stage that is my eyelids
Voice saying, No. No it can’t be.
Instead you haunt my dreams
my mind stuffed full of what ifs,
your voice saying, No. Well maybe it can be.
But I do not love you anymore.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Definition of Bitch
While in one of my communication classes for the semester, we debated the meaning of bitch. Was it still offensive to the girls in the room? How was it used in context? When was it ok for people to call someone a bitch? It got me thinking about how I think of the term bitch. A few years ago, it would have been considered extremely taboo. Bitch was for female dog breeders and that was it. Besides that, it was used negatively by rappers or people trying to offend. However, what I've found is that there is now three sections of a definition of bitch and they all range in seriousness.
1) "We're all bitches." "We're all whores." *insert random badass word here*
We all know the nights. We're kidding with our girlfriends. Maybe some drinks have been involved. We kid about everyone being a bitch. It has a childlike tone. Everyone knows that no one is serious. It's all just shits and giggles.
2) "Oh you're such a bitch, but we still love you."
This is the girl that's a hardass, but she's got meaning behind it. On the surface, she may act bitchlike and be a bit gruff on the seams, but inside, she just really cares for her friends. And it comes across. She can have a serious tone, but she can also joke about being a bitch. She accepts her role as someone that combines a badass attitude with sentiment and sweetness. She gets it.
3) "You're a bitch."
And then there are some girls that truly are bitches. They seem heartless. They have no reason to be outright mean to people. They may flirt with their "friend's" boyfriends or flirt with the guy at the bar that you've already called dibs on. They don't seem to understand that a girl code exists in this world. This is where bitch gets its offensive nature.
Bitch does not always have to be considered mean. It's not always derogatory. It gets a bad rap from being misunderstood. Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of a discussion of "how do you mean that" to clear the air. We just need to help it along and as girls, realize that sometimes clarification is needed.
1) "We're all bitches." "We're all whores." *insert random badass word here*
We all know the nights. We're kidding with our girlfriends. Maybe some drinks have been involved. We kid about everyone being a bitch. It has a childlike tone. Everyone knows that no one is serious. It's all just shits and giggles.
2) "Oh you're such a bitch, but we still love you."
This is the girl that's a hardass, but she's got meaning behind it. On the surface, she may act bitchlike and be a bit gruff on the seams, but inside, she just really cares for her friends. And it comes across. She can have a serious tone, but she can also joke about being a bitch. She accepts her role as someone that combines a badass attitude with sentiment and sweetness. She gets it.
3) "You're a bitch."
And then there are some girls that truly are bitches. They seem heartless. They have no reason to be outright mean to people. They may flirt with their "friend's" boyfriends or flirt with the guy at the bar that you've already called dibs on. They don't seem to understand that a girl code exists in this world. This is where bitch gets its offensive nature.
Bitch does not always have to be considered mean. It's not always derogatory. It gets a bad rap from being misunderstood. Sometimes, all it takes is a bit of a discussion of "how do you mean that" to clear the air. We just need to help it along and as girls, realize that sometimes clarification is needed.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
The Dream by Louise Bogan
O God, in the dream the terrible horse began
To paw at the air, and make for me with his blows,
Fear kept for thirty-five years poured through his mane,
And retribution equally old, or nearly, breathed through his nose.
Coward complete, I lay and wept on the ground
When some strong creature appeared, and leapt for the rein.
Another woman, as I lay half in a swound
Leapt in the air, and clutched at the leather and chain.
Give him, she said, something of yours as a charm.
Throw him, she said, some poor thing you alone claim.
No, no, I cried, he hates me; he is out for harm,
And whether I yield or not, it is all the same.
But, like a lion in a legend, when I flung the glove
Pulled from my sweating, my cold right hand;
The terrible beast, that no one may understand,
Came to my side, and put down his head in love.
To paw at the air, and make for me with his blows,
Fear kept for thirty-five years poured through his mane,
And retribution equally old, or nearly, breathed through his nose.
Coward complete, I lay and wept on the ground
When some strong creature appeared, and leapt for the rein.
Another woman, as I lay half in a swound
Leapt in the air, and clutched at the leather and chain.
Give him, she said, something of yours as a charm.
Throw him, she said, some poor thing you alone claim.
No, no, I cried, he hates me; he is out for harm,
And whether I yield or not, it is all the same.
But, like a lion in a legend, when I flung the glove
Pulled from my sweating, my cold right hand;
The terrible beast, that no one may understand,
Came to my side, and put down his head in love.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
We try to sit next to one another
hands kept to ourselves, my laptop warming
my pant legs. But as we play, you poke
and tickle knowing my weakness.
I have no power of objection
as your lips graze my neck, teeth
nipping. The laptop is quickly forgotten,
thrown aside like a 5-year-old
and a week old Christmas present.
I submit to your dominance.
But as we play, you say, We have tried this before.
Why should it matter? When you are near,
my blood boils and I know yours does too.
Our lips meet, your hands resting on my chest,
fireworks and sparks. Maybe we cannot see
each other as often as we'd like, but...
Isn't love worth it?
For denying my feelings is more painful
than trudging through a long distance relationship,
exchanging little visit, tiny trinkets, and Skype dates.
Hug me again, envelope me in your arms and keep me safe.
Let love be.
hands kept to ourselves, my laptop warming
my pant legs. But as we play, you poke
and tickle knowing my weakness.
I have no power of objection
as your lips graze my neck, teeth
nipping. The laptop is quickly forgotten,
thrown aside like a 5-year-old
and a week old Christmas present.
I submit to your dominance.
But as we play, you say, We have tried this before.
Why should it matter? When you are near,
my blood boils and I know yours does too.
Our lips meet, your hands resting on my chest,
fireworks and sparks. Maybe we cannot see
each other as often as we'd like, but...
Isn't love worth it?
For denying my feelings is more painful
than trudging through a long distance relationship,
exchanging little visit, tiny trinkets, and Skype dates.
Hug me again, envelope me in your arms and keep me safe.
Let love be.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Ode to a Phone
You are my child.
I tuck you in at night, letting you charge.
I wrap you in your case so you can be safe.
I panic when you are lost in the jungle of my purse.
I cry when a drink spills and you break.
In return, you do everything for me.
You help me spend time with my friends.
You let me write my blog and Instagram my martini.
You allow me to chronicle my life via Twitter.
You show me funny gifs on Tumblr.
You store more information than I could in my brain.
I play games with you, competitively trying to win
but you do not play games back, you are there for me.
Even though sometimes my love for you does not show
I appreciate everything you do.
I tuck you in at night, letting you charge.
I wrap you in your case so you can be safe.
I panic when you are lost in the jungle of my purse.
I cry when a drink spills and you break.
In return, you do everything for me.
You help me spend time with my friends.
You let me write my blog and Instagram my martini.
You allow me to chronicle my life via Twitter.
You show me funny gifs on Tumblr.
You store more information than I could in my brain.
I play games with you, competitively trying to win
but you do not play games back, you are there for me.
Even though sometimes my love for you does not show
I appreciate everything you do.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Smokefire
It rises from the coals, settling in the nostrils
just a quick breathe inward releasing droplets
of water down a cheek. It musters
unwillingly, a fog clouding the judgment
leaving a stained trail behind. It chokes
the senses, pokes at the weak, a fire
meant for victory, but now more the stint
of past defeat. But it continues to raise
itself into the sky, its tail following close behind,
lifting the stench that once gave it its name.
just a quick breathe inward releasing droplets
of water down a cheek. It musters
unwillingly, a fog clouding the judgment
leaving a stained trail behind. It chokes
the senses, pokes at the weak, a fire
meant for victory, but now more the stint
of past defeat. But it continues to raise
itself into the sky, its tail following close behind,
lifting the stench that once gave it its name.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Douglas Fly
(An elegy.)
He always hung them in the porch,
splatters of red, blue and gold,
tiny beaks bright orange or black,
wings spanning north to south, east to west.
He knew every call, every crow, every sparrow,
eagle, bluebird, swallow, as he tricks
us grandkids and my grandmother into thinking
one of them has entered the house.
He helped fix their nests, watched over them
and in death, they accept him as one.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
he asked me when the clock ticked its final hours.
I did not know how to respond, but somehow
I'd like to believe he is encased in their feathers,
has grown his own wings and flies overhead
to watch down on me.
He always hung them in the porch,
splatters of red, blue and gold,
tiny beaks bright orange or black,
wings spanning north to south, east to west.
He knew every call, every crow, every sparrow,
eagle, bluebird, swallow, as he tricks
us grandkids and my grandmother into thinking
one of them has entered the house.
He helped fix their nests, watched over them
and in death, they accept him as one.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
he asked me when the clock ticked its final hours.
I did not know how to respond, but somehow
I'd like to believe he is encased in their feathers,
has grown his own wings and flies overhead
to watch down on me.
Carhartt
(Intended to be a sonnet, but does not 100% follow rhyme scheme or syllable count.)
Riding in his Chevy Blazer, window wind
whipping my hair as I rest shotgun, hand
on his leg, music of cowboys blaring through
cranky speakers. We cruise, bumpy road not
mattering, red light, brakes squeak and he looks
at me with clear ocean eyes, wiping dusty
jeans off not to get my summer dress dirty.
Three months overdue, second date lusty
glances waiting for another startling
kiss. First seen on the 'Net, now more alive
than ever, warm flesh to touch, hair to smooth,
arms to be wrapped in, love to believe in.
I never expected to love him so,
but I've fallen hard for the country boy.
Riding in his Chevy Blazer, window wind
whipping my hair as I rest shotgun, hand
on his leg, music of cowboys blaring through
cranky speakers. We cruise, bumpy road not
mattering, red light, brakes squeak and he looks
at me with clear ocean eyes, wiping dusty
jeans off not to get my summer dress dirty.
Three months overdue, second date lusty
glances waiting for another startling
kiss. First seen on the 'Net, now more alive
than ever, warm flesh to touch, hair to smooth,
arms to be wrapped in, love to believe in.
I never expected to love him so,
but I've fallen hard for the country boy.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
One Fleeting Moment
(A ballad. I must say, I hate ballads. Hate them. Never again.) (Watch me become a ballad writer...)
Rain drops pit pat on roof, waving
flowers, a steady drum beat,
a band of trees shaking in wind,
upset at the heating
of a Great Sun, misbehaving
children tossing some sweets
into air, daisies falling blind,
torn apart by cheating
hands, left alone, darkness caving
in, clouds hiding the wheat
miles away, midnight moon twined
in fog in moment's fleet.
Rain drops pit pat on roof, waving
flowers, a steady drum beat,
a band of trees shaking in wind,
upset at the heating
of a Great Sun, misbehaving
children tossing some sweets
into air, daisies falling blind,
torn apart by cheating
hands, left alone, darkness caving
in, clouds hiding the wheat
miles away, midnight moon twined
in fog in moment's fleet.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
I Knew You Were Trouble- Taylor Swift
I knew you were trouble when you walked in so shame on me now.
Black Rose
Grown out from the ground, white as the snow capped blanket of ice,
tiny petals reaching out into the world, spikey thorns only now grappling
with the real world as the sun beat down on its back.
But the sun tanned its petals, a deep crimson blush enveloping
the delicate stem, an elegance falling over the sky,
an air kiss to the rain as it satisfied its thirst.
The rain clouds turned dark, storms taking over,
the midnight universe shadowing the petals, the blackest black
taking over, trying to beat down the rose.
But it held still and strong, refusing to bow down to the power
of the tornado overhead. Rebellion, the Roisin Dubh,
surviving while the other flowers submitted or died.
tiny petals reaching out into the world, spikey thorns only now grappling
with the real world as the sun beat down on its back.
But the sun tanned its petals, a deep crimson blush enveloping
the delicate stem, an elegance falling over the sky,
an air kiss to the rain as it satisfied its thirst.
The rain clouds turned dark, storms taking over,
the midnight universe shadowing the petals, the blackest black
taking over, trying to beat down the rose.
But it held still and strong, refusing to bow down to the power
of the tornado overhead. Rebellion, the Roisin Dubh,
surviving while the other flowers submitted or died.
Nerd Love
(A sonnet.)
We have always been touch and go, leaning
in, lips almost kissing, hands and fingers
interlaced yet pulled away, dark eyes seeming
to speak volumes of great love which lingers.
We flinch and fiddle, dance around the defining
of the relationship, instead seeing
Star Wars and cuddling tight, us refining
what we know, cater to each other's needs.
It is a coy night filled with video games,
helping each other with quests of the heart,
battling the monsters that are not so lame,
but never back to back, always apart.
But when the monsters are dead, your eyes smile
and as we kiss, it is all very worthwhile.
We have always been touch and go, leaning
in, lips almost kissing, hands and fingers
interlaced yet pulled away, dark eyes seeming
to speak volumes of great love which lingers.
We flinch and fiddle, dance around the defining
of the relationship, instead seeing
Star Wars and cuddling tight, us refining
what we know, cater to each other's needs.
It is a coy night filled with video games,
helping each other with quests of the heart,
battling the monsters that are not so lame,
but never back to back, always apart.
But when the monsters are dead, your eyes smile
and as we kiss, it is all very worthwhile.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Break
(A cinquain.)
Stronger
than before I
run through scattered puddles
legs churning, stretching, finally
freedom.
Stronger
than before I
run through scattered puddles
legs churning, stretching, finally
freedom.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Winter Day Run
Lacing up, sneakers touch half wet pavement
with its puddles sprinkling the path, snow
patches rising along the sidewalk.
Beats settle in the ear as left and then right
foot pads the cement. Pace quickens,
feet leaving the ground, head high
dodging the deepest lakes, but splashing
through the tiny pools. Fluid motion
from tip of the head to the tiniest toe
braid snaking out the base of neck.
Tension dissolves, muscles warm
enough to melt the road. Flying.
with its puddles sprinkling the path, snow
patches rising along the sidewalk.
Beats settle in the ear as left and then right
foot pads the cement. Pace quickens,
feet leaving the ground, head high
dodging the deepest lakes, but splashing
through the tiny pools. Fluid motion
from tip of the head to the tiniest toe
braid snaking out the base of neck.
Tension dissolves, muscles warm
enough to melt the road. Flying.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Fitcher's Bird Speaks
(This is a poem in trochaic tetrameter based off Grimm's Fairy Tale of Fitcher's Bird.)
You can never trust a beggar.
I knew he was a bad man.
So when he came to carry me off,
I had learned from her mistakes.
A bright pearl egg, such a simple
thing to give, but I left it there,
brought home my sisters and left
him to die a firey death.
He had fallen for my clever
trick, carried them to safety and
I, in my magnificance, stood
proud, a bird, confident in my
costume, the skull in the window,
honey and feathers stuck to my
naked skin, a mark of pride,
I watched you and your friends burn.
You can never trust a beggar.
I knew he was a bad man.
So when he came to carry me off,
I had learned from her mistakes.
A bright pearl egg, such a simple
thing to give, but I left it there,
brought home my sisters and left
him to die a firey death.
He had fallen for my clever
trick, carried them to safety and
I, in my magnificance, stood
proud, a bird, confident in my
costume, the skull in the window,
honey and feathers stuck to my
naked skin, a mark of pride,
I watched you and your friends burn.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Deep Silence
It lays at the bottom of the ocean, a midnight blue blanket
tucked in close over the low lying fish. It pats down
the vicious waves, calms the storm wrecked.
It sparkles in the evening sky as the stars
take their rightful throne in the black. It is the full moon
gazing down upon the hill of the valley
where rainbows of flowers wave their petals
in the soft spring wind, the blades of grass
whispering their peace, gossiping
in the slight pitter patter of rain as it treds
on the small splotches of pavement with its blue,
yellow, and red playground markings.
It is the silence that settles in my heart
as the calm after the storm has rested.
tucked in close over the low lying fish. It pats down
the vicious waves, calms the storm wrecked.
It sparkles in the evening sky as the stars
take their rightful throne in the black. It is the full moon
gazing down upon the hill of the valley
where rainbows of flowers wave their petals
in the soft spring wind, the blades of grass
whispering their peace, gossiping
in the slight pitter patter of rain as it treds
on the small splotches of pavement with its blue,
yellow, and red playground markings.
It is the silence that settles in my heart
as the calm after the storm has rested.
Arrow Fly
It whizzes through the sky, catching wind, feather flying
as its thin wood bites the air, its vicious neck
digging into the heart of the living.
Its flight is innocent in nature, seeming so light,
so careless. But truly it destroys, pierces
and kills, the life slowly dragged out of its prey.
as its thin wood bites the air, its vicious neck
digging into the heart of the living.
Its flight is innocent in nature, seeming so light,
so careless. But truly it destroys, pierces
and kills, the life slowly dragged out of its prey.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
When one door closes
(A poem about an ending written in 10-20 lines completely in blank verse.)
A black cap, a golden tassel waving,
heels clicking across a silver stage,
diploma in hand, the end of an era.
A shiny new key swaying on a circle,
car door slamming, boxes piled to the
ceiling, front door closes, left alone at
last. A fresh job, more faces to learn,
big girl clothes, reporter notes scribbled.
No more frat parties, drinks, games and stupid.
But as the front door closes, the world is silent.
Sucking in deep breathes, calming the nerves.
Free and on my own at last, the door opens.
A black cap, a golden tassel waving,
heels clicking across a silver stage,
diploma in hand, the end of an era.
A shiny new key swaying on a circle,
car door slamming, boxes piled to the
ceiling, front door closes, left alone at
last. A fresh job, more faces to learn,
big girl clothes, reporter notes scribbled.
No more frat parties, drinks, games and stupid.
But as the front door closes, the world is silent.
Sucking in deep breathes, calming the nerves.
Free and on my own at last, the door opens.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Heart Guardian
It sat on my heart, slowly beating its steady drum
setting brick by brick, sealing with mortar
caging in the noisy beast, teaching it silence.
She stood guard outside the stronghold
sword ready, shield balanced on forearm
gazing into the distance, watching for him.
But not only him posed a threat, hawk eyes
prepared to dodge the piercing arrows
as they try to strike the cage, red blood
spilling over. The Guardian knew better.
She struck first, slicing the wooden shafts
in half, splintering their sides. They were not good
enough to get past the Guardian, for she could hear
the quiet wisp of an arrow through wind,
the stone heads attempting to burrow into flesh.
She saw him in the distance, crouched for an attack,
but as he ran, legs churning, she braced her shield,
drew her sword, and charged.
setting brick by brick, sealing with mortar
caging in the noisy beast, teaching it silence.
She stood guard outside the stronghold
sword ready, shield balanced on forearm
gazing into the distance, watching for him.
But not only him posed a threat, hawk eyes
prepared to dodge the piercing arrows
as they try to strike the cage, red blood
spilling over. The Guardian knew better.
She struck first, slicing the wooden shafts
in half, splintering their sides. They were not good
enough to get past the Guardian, for she could hear
the quiet wisp of an arrow through wind,
the stone heads attempting to burrow into flesh.
She saw him in the distance, crouched for an attack,
but as he ran, legs churning, she braced her shield,
drew her sword, and charged.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Rose Thief
This is a delicately made dramatic monologue in blank verse. The assignment was to write 3-10 lines (much harder than one would think). I would say personally the hardest was figuring out the scansion. This poem may look simple, but it's got a lot going on under the surface!
I leaped over the fence, its white picket spotless
the garden sprinkled with midnight petals,
bending down, the edge of silver scissors
kissing the slender neck of a thorny stem. Slam!
Goes the metal door, boots pounding as I snip
and clip, disappearing into the dark evening fog.
I leaped over the fence, its white picket spotless
the garden sprinkled with midnight petals,
bending down, the edge of silver scissors
kissing the slender neck of a thorny stem. Slam!
Goes the metal door, boots pounding as I snip
and clip, disappearing into the dark evening fog.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Nightbird
My soul is heavy, grounded
when it only wishes to be
the nightbird
whose wings cut the midnight sky.
The nightbird's song
is the sweet lullaby of the shadow
which dances and sings
in the stars that light up the sky.
I try to climb onto the back
of the nightbird
in which the wind sweeps
underneath and glides in tempo.
My soul is one
with the nightbird
who calls me
to the sky.
when it only wishes to be
the nightbird
whose wings cut the midnight sky.
The nightbird's song
is the sweet lullaby of the shadow
which dances and sings
in the stars that light up the sky.
I try to climb onto the back
of the nightbird
in which the wind sweeps
underneath and glides in tempo.
My soul is one
with the nightbird
who calls me
to the sky.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Finding Center
Sometimes your mind can feel like a maze,
rushing at a speed that would never be ok
on a highway. And when the outside begins
to blur, it's time to step back, concentrate,
collect and move forward.
Breathe in, it'll clear the fog, wash
away the weeds with some water splashed
down the throat. The clouds will clear
their gloomy nature and the walls
will melt and you will see the sun.
Stop worrying and smile. Let life
come as it may. There's no use in pushing
or forcing what simply is not. Blink
and remind yourself who you are.
Take some time and find your center.
rushing at a speed that would never be ok
on a highway. And when the outside begins
to blur, it's time to step back, concentrate,
collect and move forward.
Breathe in, it'll clear the fog, wash
away the weeds with some water splashed
down the throat. The clouds will clear
their gloomy nature and the walls
will melt and you will see the sun.
Stop worrying and smile. Let life
come as it may. There's no use in pushing
or forcing what simply is not. Blink
and remind yourself who you are.
Take some time and find your center.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Mouse and Shark
I was going to write a poem. I was going to write a poem about how I am both a mouse and a shark. But alas, the words are just not coming to me so instead I write. Today I realized something more about me that maybe some people don't realize or seem to forget. Like many people, I have two sides. On the surface, I am a mouse. I eat my food in small bites. I squeak when surprised. I'm sensitive and fun and love chocolate like a mouse likes cheese.
But deep down in the ocean, inside of me, I am a shark. I am a journalist at heart. I chase stories. I rip into it like a shark into meat. I eat Public Relations classes in gulps, having the guts to succeed in a place where you will always be questioned. You will always be second guessed. There will always be people to poke holes in your strategic plans and come up with new implications you may not have thought about.
My life is always about questions. Whether I be asking them or thinking about the consequences of strategic planning, I will always have an open ended life. There is never a right answer. But I know that between the sweetness of the mouse and the badass of the shark, I will make it. I will succeed. The open ended life just makes things more interesting because if there were answers to life, it wouldn't be any fun.
But deep down in the ocean, inside of me, I am a shark. I am a journalist at heart. I chase stories. I rip into it like a shark into meat. I eat Public Relations classes in gulps, having the guts to succeed in a place where you will always be questioned. You will always be second guessed. There will always be people to poke holes in your strategic plans and come up with new implications you may not have thought about.
My life is always about questions. Whether I be asking them or thinking about the consequences of strategic planning, I will always have an open ended life. There is never a right answer. But I know that between the sweetness of the mouse and the badass of the shark, I will make it. I will succeed. The open ended life just makes things more interesting because if there were answers to life, it wouldn't be any fun.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Finding home
I came to NYC to run an experiment, a trial. To find out whether I liked living in the city enough to consider it home post graduation. However, the more I work and the more I be here, I love the city, but I just couldn't be here full time. I guess I always had a feeling this may happen. I guess I always knew the country girl in me was going to win over.
I don't mind the hustle and bustle of city life, it's just tiring. An hour subway from Queens into Manhattan in the morning and then an hour back at night on top of a long work day just burns you out. And plus you spend enough on good food just because it's a quick walk. Your normal homecooked family dinner is a thing of the past.
I just miss my grass and my horse right now. I miss a quiet life where things aren't so insane. And I think that's what I'll be searching out post graduation. Somewhere quiet, whether rural or suburban, where I can have a car and a quiet little apartment, go riding and just do my job.
I don't mind the hustle and bustle of city life, it's just tiring. An hour subway from Queens into Manhattan in the morning and then an hour back at night on top of a long work day just burns you out. And plus you spend enough on good food just because it's a quick walk. Your normal homecooked family dinner is a thing of the past.
I just miss my grass and my horse right now. I miss a quiet life where things aren't so insane. And I think that's what I'll be searching out post graduation. Somewhere quiet, whether rural or suburban, where I can have a car and a quiet little apartment, go riding and just do my job.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Crowded Room
I didn't even know your name
and you didn't know mine,
but I felt myself shake and shiver
when I caught your eyes on me
and my eyes landed on you.
We were young, experiencing
a new time of life, surrounded
by strangers, thrown together
entirely by chance, the throw
of the dice and us together.
I saw a flicker of the future
dance before my eyes, thinking
of you and I together, but you
disappeared as soon as you
had come, fleeing from the room.
You appeared and disappeared,
the magician leading the magic act,
you didn't know the one who would
ground you was sitting in that room,
waiting to lay her eyes back on yours.
and you didn't know mine,
but I felt myself shake and shiver
when I caught your eyes on me
and my eyes landed on you.
We were young, experiencing
a new time of life, surrounded
by strangers, thrown together
entirely by chance, the throw
of the dice and us together.
I saw a flicker of the future
dance before my eyes, thinking
of you and I together, but you
disappeared as soon as you
had come, fleeing from the room.
You appeared and disappeared,
the magician leading the magic act,
you didn't know the one who would
ground you was sitting in that room,
waiting to lay her eyes back on yours.
Boyfriend- Laura Bell Bundy
Laura Bell Bundy has seriously taken over as one of my favorite artists in recent weeks. From Giddy on Up to Boyfriend, I'm so in love with her music.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Bearskin Rug
Hey you, yea you standing there in the snow
come in from the chill, leave the ice behind
but bring in some wood with those chiseled abs,
we're gonna need a lot of that while I light
the fire, make it roar and crackle in the hearth.
Hey you, yea you, come sit by the fire,
join me with these down pillow and on the bearskin
rug, shake the snow off those clothes, strip
off the wet layers, hang them by the fireplace,
you won't need those where we're going.
Hey you, yea you, come kiss these fire red lips,
wrap a quilt around our shoulders, sip
the best pinot noir in the cabinet, lay
me down on this bearskin rug, spend the night
with me by the fire as it crackles and burns.
come in from the chill, leave the ice behind
but bring in some wood with those chiseled abs,
we're gonna need a lot of that while I light
the fire, make it roar and crackle in the hearth.
Hey you, yea you, come sit by the fire,
join me with these down pillow and on the bearskin
rug, shake the snow off those clothes, strip
off the wet layers, hang them by the fireplace,
you won't need those where we're going.
Hey you, yea you, come kiss these fire red lips,
wrap a quilt around our shoulders, sip
the best pinot noir in the cabinet, lay
me down on this bearskin rug, spend the night
with me by the fire as it crackles and burns.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Let Beauty Fly
Let beauty fly, let your wings take flight and smile. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Fly free. Fly with a purpose. Don't be afraid to fly your own way because you are you and you are beautiful.
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